Wednesday, March 27, 2024

Knock, Knock. Who's There?

A humorous memory from our furlough travels involves Silas reading seemingly endless knock-knock jokes to the rest of us in the family vehicle. It was one way to pass many hours of time spent on US highways and byways! Hence the title of this post.

My real purpose in writing, however, is to simply satisfy my curiosity about who might still be visiting this little corner of the "blogosphere." Would you mind leaving a message to say hello? If you've never done so before, it's just a matter of clicking the comment link in the gray box at the bottom of this post  (next to the time stamp.) You'll reach a comment box where you can choose to write under your Google account or anonymously. If you choose the latter, maybe you can provide a clue?

At any rate, thank you for stopping by. While my primary purpose in writing is to preserve memories, I do hope to provide a measure of encouragement in the process. 

Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Interconnected Encouragement from God's Word

God's Word (the Bible) is unlike any other book in the entire world. According to the Guinness World Records, it is the best selling book of all time with approximately 80 million copies printed per year and between 5 and 7 BILLION copies produced in the last 1,500 years. Much more importantly, however, it is a "living and active" book that transforms those who read it with a tender heart.

Despite being an avid reader from a young age, I've spent infinitely more hours in works of fiction than on the pages of Scripture. I admit this with regret. For most of my life I've carried the dueling twins of desire and despair as pertains to my faithfulness - or lack thereof - in reading the Bible consistently. My struggle certainly was not from absence of example, as every morning of my childhood and adolescence I descended the stairs to find my mom in her rocking chair with coffee and Bible in hand. I saw my dad do likewise (minus the coffee!) I am so grateful for the gift of witnessing godly commitment at home daily. As I strive for faithfulness in Bible reading today, it's why I've moved from bedroom to living room in hopes of providing similar visible encouragement to our own kids.

Somewhere along the way, God was gracious to help me understand that His Word is a loving letter from Father to daughter rather than a tedious "To-Do" on my list. I sometimes still struggle with feeling guilty if I miss a day's reading or tempted to pat my own back when I don't. I am convinced that the Enemy of our souls knows what healing medicine and infusion of strength and joy results from our time in Scripture, so he never stops trying to keep us from it. I've come to terms that this will be a lifelong struggle for me and it is only if I quit that he has won. The battle is just confirmation that the Holy Spirit is alive and well in my heart. Praise God!

Lately I have been especially encouraged by the interconnectedness of God's Word and how this affirms His eternal power and plan. Only as God has enabled me in recent years to completely both read and listen to the entire Bible multiple times, has this become more evident. People and places and incidents in the Old Testament point to His promises and their fulfillment in the New Testament. Amidst human drama and within our written history, God has planted clues to His character. They may be found in celebrations or in consequences; in laws or in lavish grace. What a mighty yet personal, fiercesome yet faithful Father we serve! I pray He helps me to continue to know Him more each day.

Friday, February 16, 2024

Toggling Thoughts of Today

I have been sitting at my laptop for some time, toggling between multiple screens.

On one, I keep open a WORD document containing the annual report requested by a supporting church. I am answering this question: Please share with us what a day in your life as a missionary in your field consists of. (Examples: a general schedule/devotions/discipleship/evangelism/relationships/church life, etc.)

On another, I am reading and responding to WhatsApp messages, most importantly from my sisters. We are connected by mutual concern, two of us currently in Chile and one stateside with our parents at this time.

A third tab is opened to a college son's email account (with his knowledge) as the hours tick by on this last day of possible notification about a college scholarship.

Yet a fourth tab I open and close, wanting/not wanting to see the words I wrote on Facebook and any responses to them: My parents raised three daughters on the mission field, and released three daughters back to that same field. The past three years, we have sought to stagger our "furloughs" (stateside reporting ministry) to provide more presence with our parents Jim and Gail A. Christian during a time when our dad's health has been failing due to Parkinson's. First Jennifer was there during what we now know was his last year of independent living; then I had the privilege of being present to assist with his transition to Healthcare. Finally, Terri recently returned to the US and was there when Dad was evaluated today for hospice care due to increasing declines in his health. We certainly appreciate prayer during this new season for our family. ❤ (photo dated 2016)


Meanwhile a calendar and stack of notebooks beckon for my attention. Multiple lists with unchecked boxes nudge my elbow as I type. In the past two hours, I've rejoiced that our college daughter arrived safely after 5+ hours of solo driving to be with her grandfather briefly this weekend. I've reached out to a possible accountant to help FLORECE with annual budgeting and reports the Chilean government requires. I've exchanged messages with a fumigation service; opened the door to receive the delivery of six 20-liter water bottles (indispensable when you live in the desert); typed up financial numbers for a hopeful ministry expansion project; and confirmed that a dear colleague is returning as scheduled on Sunday. I've been grateful for the cooling hum of a fan in our quiet house and for my husband taking two sons out for an hour of refreshment and play at the nearby ocean, while another son busses to and from his tri-weekly boxing class.

Today, that's what a fraction of a day in my life looks like. It's not that I've accomplished much. Most of those messages have just set in motion or moved along what will take many more points of contact to complete. Always, I feel at loose ends. So much TO do; so much NOT done. My heart divided: in Iowa, Virginia, Florida, Pennsylvania, and here in Iquique. Especially, now, in PA with my parents.

Hebrews 4:14-16 says, "Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Lately I have reflected on Jesus leaving His home in Heaven, coming to be human born and spend thirty-three years on earth separated from His Father. Then to live among and love His human family and cherished friends (disciples) only to be excruciatingly separated from them as well. How did He minister with an undivided heart and focus in this world? He is able to "sympathize with our weaknesses." Yet He never sinned as I do (praise God for His perfection!) How grateful I am for God's throne of mercy and grace and help in my time of need. 

Saturday, December 09, 2023

Ian's 16th Birthday

To my sweet son Ian,


Where do I begin? Today is your 16th birthday. It is so hard to believe that the baby boy in my arms in this picture is now several inches taller than me! This picture was taken on our very first trip to meet you in Haiti when you were 9 months old. I am so grateful for those memories and moments shared (although to this day I feel sadness that many months of separation followed.) I thank God that He brought you home and for all the years we’ve now had together as a family!


On your 16th birthday, I want to tell you how much I enjoyed the energetic, happy-go-lucky, boundless energy boy you were as a little guy. I want you to know that your unique lens of viewing life and telling us about it in childhood taught us creativity and curiosity and good humor (and sometimes patience, hehe!) What a blessing it has been to walk through all these stages of life with you. 


But wow! What a sweet season it is now to see you becoming a young man right before our eyes. I admire that you are a young man of kindness, and I love that I had the opportunity to witness that in you from a very young age. I can still picture toddler Ian in Haiti, concerned for other babies who cried and trying to soothe them. Through the years, I’ve seen that kindness and sensitivity displayed towards others who were hurting, whether siblings or people God placed in your path. It is a character quality that reminds me of Jesus. I pray you will always seek to be like Him in this way.


Ian, you’re also a peacemaker. I appreciate this so much about you. Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” You do this well. While it’s true that there are times in life when confrontation becomes necessary, it can still be done in love with unity as the goal. You bring people together and create connections. This blesses you + others!


You are also a helper, usually without complaint. You can be depended upon to do a task when asked, and to do it well. These are admirable qualities in a young man and honor the Lord.


Ian, I am excited to see the plans God has for your life as you continue getting to know Jesus and learn to love His Word. There is no better path than the one He leads us on! Keep seeking Him first. ❤


I love you, my son! Happy 16th Birthday!


Love, Mom


P.S. For your birthday this year, I compiled letters from people in your life who love you and wanted to cheer you on. You gave me a big hug and said it was really meaningful, even admitting to getting "teared up" over some of them. You made my heart smile.

Birthday Posts by Year:

Saturday, October 28, 2023

8th Birthday for Silas

 

Dear Silas,

Aunt Terri's banana cake. That was all that was on your mind as we returned to Chile after fifteen months of stateside ministry with your birthday just a a few weeks away. The fact that (due to travel) Aunt Terri wasn't available on your birthday didn't deter you - it just extended your celebration by an extra day!

On Saturday, October 28, 2023 you turned 8 years old. Of course the morning had to begin as all birthday mornings in our house are supposed to. You happily enjoyed baked oatmeal with chocolate chips, and made SURE it was served on the birthday plate. You utterly delight in all the birthday trappings and traditions! The latter of these usually includes a new Lego set for your collection, and we have "Aunt" Nikki to thank for the favor of bringing this particular one all the way from the United States to a conference in Lima, Peru. There we transferred it to our suitcase and somehow managed to return to Chile while still keeping it a surprise!


The afternoon of your birthday was spent bowling with Daddy, your big brothers and Fisher boy cousins. I think everyone had fun! We don't go bowling often enough for anyone (other than Dad, maybe!) to be a superstar at the lanes, but the novelty and challenge are always a treat.


Finally, you celebrated with your longed-for banana cake on Sunday after church with the Fisher family, Aunt Noni, Tia Ibodne and Tia Luisa. Our Iquiqueño back in the land of his birth! We are so thankful for you, Silas, and all the joy and laughter you bring to our family. It is a blessing to see life through your eyes and enthusiasm.

Happy 8th Birthday, Silas Eben Garcia Garcia! (No, that's not a typo but your amusing legal name in Chile.) The greatest gift you have ever received is Jesus Christ as your Savior. Your love for Him and His Word is what will make you a great man someday, and a caring friend today. God loves you even more than we do! And we love you very, VERY much!

Love,
Mommy

Birthday Posts by Year:


Friday, October 27, 2023

Pedro's Motto: Where You Go, Grill

My husband would say he knew a little bit about grilling before coming to Chile, but realized very soon upon arrival that he was moving into "the big leagues" when it came to asados (or parrilladas) in this South American country! An early memory from our first years in Iquique took place at the home of new friends who were parents to a student in our daughter's second-grade class. It was there Pedro learned that the goal of a Chilean cookout was more than just a tableful of cooked meat. Instead, it was about the enjoyment of talking to your friend while standing around the grill, and the friend offering up tasty samples of all the different kinds of meat as the cooking process took place. 

In other words, it was as much about relationship as it was food.

Another detail Pedro learned was that Chilean grilling never has to do with hamburgers and hot dogs! A good asado is always a variety of different meats, beginning with the chorizos or sausages. These are typically served first as a type of appetizer. The sizzling sausage is tucked inside a fresh marraqueta (Chilean bread) and garnished with pebre (like a pico de gallo) and mayonnaise. Later, the other meats are typically served at the table alongside Chilean rice and several different kinds of salads.

Overall, the cultural lesson we have learned is that inviting friends to a good asado is akin to offering them a special gift. It is the gift of time; laughter; conversation; and a quality meal that can sometimes be costly but is always a blessing.

Below, from most recent to oldest, I've collected photos of Pedro doing the grilling he now loves in nearly a dozen different places. Midway there is a picture entitled "Dream Fulfilled" which is when he received a homemade grill made out of a 55-gallon metal drum! Not only was this a gift to himself but to countless friends and family who have had the pleasure of being served from it. In fact, service is one of Pedro's "love languages" and grilling is one of the places he speaks it best. 

Signed, A Proud Wife

Cousin Jared's Grill, Metamora, Michigan (August 2023)


Missionary House, Flint, Michigan (September 2022)


Vacation rental, Lake Alfred, Florida (July 2022)


Overnight rental, Pisagua, Chile (May 2022)


Desert cabin, Camiña, Chile (February 2022)

Fisher Home, Iquique (Christmas Eve 2021)

Our Home, Iquique (18 Septiembre 2021)

Our Home, Iquique (Mid-Pandemic October 2020)

Our Home, Iquique (18 Septiembre 2019)

Dream Fulfilled (September 2019)

Dream Deferred (May 2019)

Our Home, Iquique (September 2018)

Grilling while watching US football (September 2016)

Jardines de Huayquique, Iquique (July 2016)


Playa Huayquique (December 2014)

Our Home, Iquique (September 2013)

Our Home, Iquique (2013)










Tuesday, August 22, 2023

Legacies of Faithfulness

This furlough, we have been surrounded by legacies of faithfulness.

On the one hand, uniquely so because of our constant connection with the Christian retirement community where my parents reside. Once while sharing with Silas the homegoing of someone he had come to know there, we considered how their community was like the waiting room of a doctor's office. Waiting for Heaven - and the Great Physician, God Himself.

Many who live there as their final earthly home spent lifetimes in Christian service. Some share their stories of ministry readily and often, which are a joy and challenge to hear. Others simply continue living lives of quiet and joyful service to those around them. For us "neighbor Nancy" was one of the latter. Her apartment door and my parents' were side by side. Shortly before our dad moved into Healthcare, she was widowed after 72 years of loving marriage. Looking back, we see that even then God was preparing Mom for what would become her new reality as she accompanied Nancy on many visits to her husband in the same wing and across the hall from where Dad would eventually reside.

When Mom - married since age nineteen - began to live alone for the first time in her life, it was Nancy who regularly knocked at her door in the evening to make sure she was doing okay. They shared lunch most days in the cafeteria with a group of sweet friends. Originally Dad, too, was there along with his dear buddy Jack who kept the laughter flowing with his quips and banter. But Dad was sidelined in October and Jack graduated in December to his heavenly home, leaving only the ladies to carry on. And if Nancy was there, they did carry on! Her quick wit at age 93 was astounding and her eyes would twinkle as she teased.

As my travels crisscrossed between Michigan and Pennsylvania, she was always eager to know details because Michigan had been her husband's birthplace and their home for many years. She constantly affirmed my care for Mom by making these visits, and I was so humbled on an occasion she gifted me words of her poetic encouragement and gas money to help along the way. Another time, she thoughtfully gave Silas a lovely wooden car that he treasures as being from her.

It wasn't until listening to a recording of her memorial service, however, that I realized we shared the most beautiful commonality of all. Her beloved children, like most of ours, were God's blessings through adoption. And perhaps because just like we don't often think of ourselves as an "adoptive" family but simply a "family," she had never mentioned this to me in our conversations. Yet what a profound encouragement it was to hear the stories of her grandchildren and children bearing witness to her loving commitment first and foremost to her family. Such a legacy of faithfulness!

This morning, we learned of another heavenly homegoing that touched our family deeply. 

We had in fact been praying continually and preparing for the news, but nonetheless the knowledge that a dear family friend no longer walks this earth and his faithful life companion is left alone grieves us, though not as those who have no hope. We feel for Pedro's parents, for their friendship comprised many, many years and shared memories from young married life into retirement. The blessing of their friendship spilled over to us, for which we will be forever grateful. We, too, created unforgettable memories as recipients of gracious hospitality and committed encouragement for as long as my husband can remember and since we have been together. In fact, it was in their home I first met my future in-laws and was subjected to embarrassing questions for the (good-natured) amusement of all!

There are many wonderful qualities I will remember about Mr. Anthony. His work ethic was unequaled. His love for Michigan (particularly U of M) was legendary. His photography was a gift to many. His dry humor could keep you guessing if he was joking or not! The longevity and commitment of his marriage relationship and friendship with his wife was a testimony. The breadth of his generosity, mostly behind the scenes, is likely only known to God. He loved and was so proud of his family. On our last visit less than two weeks ago, even amidst physical discomfort he spoke glowingly of his two granddaughters who were earning their doctorates.

This year on furlough, I was especially touched by Mr. Anthony's warmth toward us. We've always appreciated his friendship yet I didn't consider him necessarily an affectionate type of guy. But he would usually greet me with a hug and I remember one Sunday when I asked how he was doing, he replied, "Much better now that I've seen you!" I will always remember that with a smile.

Above all, what I will forever admire is his life lived to the very end serving God in unwavering support of the local church. In our final conversation, he expressed with great emotion his admiration for our pastors. It didn't matter that they were young enough to be his sons. He nonetheless respected and supported their leadership role in word and in deed. His presence at the church was a given, and not only on Sundays or midweek gatherings. He shared his time and knowledge gleaned through years of experience in areas of accounting and added his wisdom to decision making. For decades upon decades, he faithfully invested in the local church and this is a legacy of faithfulness that can only be measured in eternity. His absence will be felt this side of Heaven, and he will be missed.

Thursday, June 15, 2023

Sayings from Silas, Part 4

Silas is now 7 1/2 years old and still keeps us giggling with some of the things he says!

Silas saw a commercial for eczema cream and told Pedro that he should use it "to look like a young dad." But then quickly amended, "Only don't do it, or I won't recognize you!"

Pedro alerted the kids that we had reached the state of Indiana where we would visit friends. Silas excitedly asked, "This is where they did Indiana Jones, right??" (Note: He's only seen the Lego version!) But our good-natured, grandfatherly friend made a point to appear at the door in a cowboy hat to fulfill Silas' expectations!

At his Christian school this semester, Silas has enjoyed hearing "Patch the Pirate" songs in his first-grade classroom. I shared with him at bedtime one night the testimony of Ron Hamilton who when he lost his eye to cancer, instead of becoming bitter chose to embrace his "pirate" eye patch and create a lifelong music ministry to children (and adults alike.) I also told Silas of Ron Hamilton's recent death and that he is now in Heaven seeing with both eyes again. Silas' immediate response was, "Like blind Bartimaeus! And the first thing he saw when Jesus made him see, was the face of Jesus!" (This wasn't funny, but it was precious!)

One evening, Silas was waxing eloquent in the car on the subject of Pedro's first cousin, Jared (because he loves their family!) "It's hard to believe that cousin Jared is my cousin. He's like 10 times older than me, he's married, he has kids ..." Our apologies to Jared who apparently by Silas' calculations is 70 years old?!?

Occasionally Silas acts as the voice of conscience. (We hear tales that it may have been more than "occasionally" in his 1st grade class this year!) Recently he informed me with a bit of hesitation in his voice, "Mom, I think I heard you say a bad word yesterday. I think I heard you say 'heck.'" Without much time to prepare a response, I replied that it wasn't a swear word but a strong word and said I was sorry. To which Silas promptly remonstrated, "Don't say sorry to me; say sorry to God!"


One morning Silas came up to Pedro after he had gotten done grinding coffee and making a lot of noise. Silas exclaimed, "What in the raspberry walnut are you doing?!" Pedro asked him if he had heard anyone say that before and Silas replied, "No, I just made it up!"


As we drove past a pond with floating birds, I eagerly drew everyone's attention to the "ducks" only to have Pedro dryly correct me that those were actually geese. To which Silas piped up, "Mom! That deserves a 'bruuuh.'" With the amount of times he uses it in a day, apparently 'bruh' is his very favorite new word learned on furlough!

----------------------------

Tuesday, June 13, 2023

Practical Home Church Support for Missionaries on Furlough

I wanted to come up with a shorter, catchier title for this post but this was the best I could do in the midst of packing up our lives once again. This month, we celebrate 21 years of appointment as missionaries sent by our home church in Michigan. Soon we'll celebrate 16 years since arriving to the country of Chile. For the past 10 months we've had the joy of living stateside close to our home church while carrying out the responsibilities of our 3rd furlough. 

As we wrap up our time here, we've been reflecting on the blessing of a home church that has faithfully provided practical support. Pedro and I made a list, compiling the ways we have been supported along with a few additional ideas that we hope might be helpful to others.

1. Coordinating Airport Pick-Up/Drop-Off

A missionary family will likely arrive with at least 1 carry-on, 1 suitcase, and 1 personal item per person! Outgoing, the number of suitcases may double or more. Even if family members are nearby or willing, most do not have enough passenger space or trunk capacity. Additionally, sometimes economy calls for arrival at a larger airport farther from the missionary family's final destination. A home church that coordinates airport pick-up and/or drop-off is a huge blessing! It make take a church van or multiples vehicles/drivers. Often missionaries do not have cell phone connection upon arrival, so prior communication about where to meet is especially helpful.

2. Awareness of Housing Needs Prior to Furlough

Every missionary family's situation is different. A few churches own missionary homes. For some missionaries, a family member's guest apartment is regularly available. But for many missionaries like us, where to live on furlough poses an extremely stressful mystery. A home church that is aware of this need and willing to help secure a solution is such a comfort! This furlough through connections thoughtfully explored and coordinated by our home church on our behalf, God provided a missionary home owned by a church we'd never even visited before.

3. Initial Groceries/Gift Cards

We've been blessed by each of these options on different furloughs. Whether pre-stocking an initial assortment of groceries or providing gift cards to area stores, both help financially and practically in the early days of getting reacquainted with shopping at "home!"

4. Assisting with Vehicle/Transportation Issues

Often missionaries do not have a car to drive upon arrival and unlike their countries of service, public transportation is not readily available! Even once they do obtain one vehicle, chances are that members of the family sometimes need to go in different directions at the same time. (In Iquique, we just tell our kids to hop on the bus!) In many countries, missionary children cannot get their licenses due to higher age limits or paperwork challenges. So while older siblings driving younger siblings is common in the States, many teenaged MKs still need to catch up on driver's education. It's also possible that young adult MKs are already stateside for college without vehicles and the entire family cannot fit into a furlough vehicle when they all get together. 

Practical ways our family was helped this furlough was a car swap at Christmastime so that our whole family could travel with our college-aged kids to visit their grandparents in Pennsylvania and Florida in a single vehicle. Another was the loaning of a second vehicle for several days when one of us had to travel out of state. People offering to pick up/drop off our teens was helpful. While still on the field, it was a blessing when other adults took our stateside daughters practice driving and helped search for affordable cars. On the tail end of furlough, selling or returning vehicles can be tricky to coordinate and in the past we've been blessed to have help with this detail also.

5. Playdates/Childcare

Especially with younger children, the transition times of setting up/packing up house can be very intense (as with any move.) Playdates or childcare can be such a relief both for the MK and his/her parents, as trust and relationships are developed. In our case this year, we had a broad gap in age between our youngest at home (1st grade) and our oldest at home (12th grade.) There were so many great activities for our teenagers and even more related to our son's senior year, but many of these were not ideal settings for a 7-year old. Friends with children his age who welcomed Silas time and again were a huge blessing to us and to him!

6. Engaging Teen MKs Relationally/Spiritually

A common pitfall for children raised in ministry is an unspoken assumption by others that they somehow have automatic spiritual maturity because of their life circumstances. Truth be told, their life circumstances may sometimes hold them back from asking genuine questions. It's not an easy task in a short span of time, but youth leaders and other Christian adults who show sincere interest, investing time and asking thoughtful questions can play a significant role in the spiritual development of teen MKs. A blessing of technology is the potential to continue that relationship even long distance.

7. Hospitality/Connecting

One of the best ways for a missionary family to reengage with their sending church is to connect with members on a personal basis. Whether getting reacquainted with "old" members or identifying new faces, casual greetings or even extended conversations after church aren't quite sufficient. One suggestion we'd offer is that sending churches might help coordinate personal connections on the front end of furlough to help with getting to know people better sooner. Personally we regret each furlough not having been able to practice as much hospitality in our own home as we'd like. In part this is due to so many weekends of travel and the time it takes to "warm up" to life in a new place. We are learning to be creative. This furlough we enjoyed some visitors for breakfast mid-week while our children were in school. Our senior pastor invited Pedro to walk together on Mondays after school drop-off. Our associate pastor and wife joined us for a virtual conference over several weeks. Several families invited us to meals in their homes. We are so thankful for all of these connections! 

8. Multiple Opportunities to Share & Pray

Something we appreciated this furlough was the opportunity to share the ministry in Chile not just once but several times in different contexts at our home church. These included combined youth/adult Sunday School; children's church; and Pedro's speaking in a Sunday morning service. It is very special to feel known not just as one of many prayer cards on the wall but to sense that from big to small, church members understand and care about the ministry in Iquique. Even more so, we deeply appreciated the dedicated prayer times for our family and ministry. Our final time of sharing with the church in Sunday School was thoughtfully divided into 15 minutes of presentation; 15 minutes of interview/Q&A; and 15 minutes of breaking up into small groups to pray. What a beautiful encouragement this was to us!

9. Planning a Visit to the Field

It was thrilling for us in 2019 to welcome a team from our home church for a week of ministry in Iquique. There is nothing quite like introducing your mission field in person to those who have sent you and who've supported and prayed for years! Whether a full team or a pastor or family representing the church, these field visits are such a blessing. Furlough is a great opportunity to discuss and plan for future visits and partnership opportunities.

10. Debriefing/Counseling Options

Four or more years on the field is a lot to process upon returning. Often traumatic or violent events occur overseas that might not be common in our home culture. Our missions agency has a built-in debriefing interview which is very helpful to begin outlining all that has taken place, but sometimes a one-time sit-down is not sufficient. We have observed that more options (even week-long, in-depth counseling retreats for adult missionaries and MKs) are becoming available but often they are not accessible either due to distance or cost. Similarly, there are re-entry retreats available to MKs returning to their passport countries for college that are excellent but impossible to attend due to the difficulty of coordinating transportation or finances.

While this is not something we specifically discussed with our sending church this furlough, it is an idea we wanted to add to this list because making debriefing or counseling options available to their missionaries if needed is a very tangible way to help and to encourage spiritual/emotional health and longevity on the mission field. This could look like a love gift to cover the cost of a debriefing retreat, or a list of trusted Christian counselors in the area to assist the family. The latter because sometimes in the course of a term overseas, needs are identified within the missionary family that are difficult to address because counseling resources are not available in their country of service. 

In our experience, no two furloughs are alike. However, each can be a learning experience. Because our first two furloughs did not allow us as much time with our home church, this year we tried to be intentional in engaging where we could. We were often away speaking on Sundays, so Pedro joined AWANA as a T&T leader mid-week. I (Stephanie) could not commit because of frequent out-of-state travels to help my parents, but I tried to look for opportunities such as ladies' Bible study, substituting in childcare and attending celebrations where I could interact with others. We sought to not be in a rush to leave after services and to invest in personal conversations. 

We are also very thankful for the perspective our home church has demonstrated each furlough. We have been warmly welcomed and thoughtfully embraced for the duration we can be with them. But we have been given the freedom to plan our time stateside according to our family's needs. Last furlough, that meant living in another state completely. We want to express gratitude to our pastors who in the midst of their own heavy loads of ministry, strive to stay sensitive and engaged with their missionaries as well. 

Monday, June 12, 2023

Happy 21st Birthday to Isabel

Dear Isabel,

On the morning of your 21st birthday, my first WhatsApp message to you consisted of this image with these words: "Because I like the two-person bitmojis where we can be together even if we aren't. I love you, Sissy! Happy 21st Birthday!! Mom-Mom has a couple of your presents from us (telling you in case she forgets!) Have a GREAT day and know you are LOVED!!"

It will never feel right to be separated from our kids on their birthdays, but I am thankful for modern means of communication to at least bridge the distance as much as loving words can suffice to do. If memory serves me right, you found yourself working at Carter's on your 21st birthday as you were earning money over summer vacation for your next year of college. (And should you notice my use of past tense verbs ... yes, once again I am writing this letter quite belatedly and for that I apologize!)

Another message we exchanged that day was this Rebekah Lyons quote I sent you, to which you responded with a red heart emoji. 💓

"The measure of trial that you've endured directly relates to the measure of HOPE you offer the world. 

Your pain can become purpose."

I told you that I thought of my Isabel HOPE when I read this! You have certainly endured trials in your twenty-one years of life. Many of these - most significantly, physical struggles and chronic pain - have been outside your control and continue to require so much patience and faith every single day. You face the "normal" challenges of young adult, college life - and on top of that, so much more. Which is why this quote resonated so clearly! There is hope, even in your trials. And there is purpose, even in your pain. 

One purpose is the compassion you have developed and demonstrate towards others in their own physical struggles. The summer of your 21st birthday was spent living with Mom-Mom and being present with Pop-Pop at a time when his Parkinson's was deteriorating him in body and mind. I know for a fact that your grandfather lit up every time you entered his room, made sure he was comfortable, gifted him your presence and the delicious homemade chocolate covered pretzels you'd created. He was and is so proud of you. He loves his sixteen grandchildren, but not all have had the privilege of proximity your circumstances allowed. You gave him hope in his trials, and to your grandmother as well.

To our dear daughter, Dad and I love you very much! We are still learning what it means to parent children who are becoming independent adults, but who thankfully still need us awhile longer. We love your daily check-ins and the snippets of your life you share with us. Happy 21st Birthday, Isabel Hope!

All my love,

Mom

Birthday Posts by Year:

20th Birthday - Isabel
19th Birthday - Isabel
18th Birthday - Isabel
17th Birthday - Isabel
16th Birthday - Isabel
15th Birthday - Isabel
14th Birthday- Isabel
13th Birthday - Isabel
12th Birthday - Isabel
11th Birthday - Isabel
10th Birthday - Isabel
9th Birthday - Isabel
8th Birthday - Isabel
7th Birthday - Isabel
6th Birthday - Isabel
5th Birthday - Isabel

Monday, June 05, 2023

Hello! (And How to Read This Blog.)

Yesterday was our final Sunday as a family this furlough at our home and sending church in Michigan. During Sunday School, our pastor led a Q & A time with us. Directed to me were some questions about how I got started writing online and specifically about this little blog, along with an invitation to visit here. As I mentioned then, blogging for me has primarily been a kind of writing therapy as well as a place to record family memories. I'm thankful that at times, God has used it to make personal connections and encourage others as well.

It has been nearly 19 years since I first posted and wrote: "Well, it is time to try something new ... we are trying out the current fad of online "blogging." Since fads have a way of coming and going, truth be told blogs are not too common anymore! 

For that reason, I thought I would write a little "How-To" post for friends who might wander by for a visit.

It's important to note that the newest post will always be at the top, so as you scroll down the page you are actually going backwards in time. There are several ways to peruse a blog. You can simply go sequentially (in reverse) and click on "Older Posts" at the bottom of the page to access more. Or, you can use the drop-down "Blog Archive" list at the bottom of the right-hand column to find historic posts by month (going all the way back to December 2004.) Another option is the small white search box at the upper-left corner of the page. You can look up individual people, places, events (such as "earthquake" or "FLORECE" or "Christmas.")

If you ever want to quickly get back to the most current post, just click on the title banner at the top of the page.

I should probably mention that I kept a separate blog from January 2008 through February 2011 (with a couple of additional postscripts) to record our adoption journey from Haiti. That blog can be accessed by clicking the brown box midway down the right-hand column.

Hopefully this is helpful! You can also leave comments if desired by clicking the little comments link in the gray line below the post (immediately to the right of the time.) Thanks so much for stopping by!

(PS - One important postscript. If you click a link to a specific post - which is usually the norm on social media - only that post will appear on the page. This is a case in point where clicking on the title banner will take you back to the most current post and those before it.)

Wednesday, April 26, 2023

When Shock and Sorrow Overshadow

This morning a simple memory surfaced by way of a photograph. It was unposed, and none of the subjects in fact faced the camera. A gentle sun was shining and the spray of waves rose in the background. In the foreground, our then-five children were captured in various poses: one son balancing on his roller blades; two daughters standing close together and relaxed; our preschool duo each paused and holding the handlebars of his scooter. All looking at an adult family friend we happened to encounter on his bike ride home from work along the oceanfront path in Iquique called the "Costanera."

My first response was to smile and share the long-ago photo with this friend's wife. Then followed motherly nostalgia, as a decade has passed and the third of our once-little children is soon to leave our family nest. But nostalgia turned to sorrow, and sorrow to grief and loss. Not because time has moved on, which is bittersweet yet normal and good. Instead, because later events stole the innocence of that moment and many others from the hearts of at least two of my children. Today they cannot think of Iquique and their life there in the context of these special memories but rather with regret and loss.

When shock and sorrow overshadow, even sweet moments are swallowed by darkness.

For our children, our family's 2018-2022 term of service began with loss. We returned from furlough to a church plant that was begun during our absence and the expectation that we would lead it in replacement of another missionary family cycling back to the States for their own furlough. This meant not returning to the only church our children had previously known and the friends they had there. At the same time, their close friends and missionary "cousins" were those who were promptly saying goodbye. 

Nonetheless, the first year back in Iquique also held some great and exciting things. We welcomed back-to-back ministry teams from the United States, including lots of teenagers that our kids loved getting to know. Family members as part of these teams came to visit us in Chile for the first time. We had brand-new experiences and visited new places. Our children engaged in ministry and practiced new musical instruments. We were joined by a new teammate from Canada. We traveled to a missionary team retreat in Peru where our kids had a blast with other MKs from Spanish-speaking South America.

But then the shock waves started and refused to recede.

First, a Chilean family we were personally very close to was shattered by the husband/father's abandonment. For those left behind this led to years of grief, financial hardship, suicide attempts and eating disorders for a teenage child, breakdowns in health, and children walking away from the faith. One of those children had previously been our child's best friend and that friendship was withdrawn - another irreparable loss, on top of the tragic loss of trust in a respected, purportedly Christian adult.

Next, the country itself imploded. Violent protests, unending marches, tires burning in the streets, vandalized businesses, armed military, nighttime curfews, helicopters flying overhead. For one of our children especially, this led to a loss of felt safety and the distortion of a country once dearly loved.

Then, Covid-19. Suddenly protestors toed the line of any and all government ordinances. Lockdowns, no leaving home except for adults twice a week for two hours at a time with police permissions verified by armed military. Fear-mongering propaganda. Loss of fellowship, community, freedom. Almost an entire year inside our homes and for Chilean students, two years of lost school.

In the middle of this, the loss of our family as we'd always known it because our oldest left home for the United States. So much easier said than done, with canceled flights upon canceled flights and so many unknowns and the distance between us so very far away.

One year later, still masked and continuing in the midst of a pandemic, our second child left home. In the meantime, two additional longtime missionary families also departed Chile. Both of our daughters left during chaotic times but we hoped for a sweet reunion as normalcy slowly recovered and Christmas break beckoned. It was not to be.

Just prior to their return, a wave of supersonic proportions broke upon our lives and ministry. Ugly truths long kept hidden burst out and overflowed their trauma upon all of us. Instead of enjoying our daughters' visit for the holidays, I was comforting someone sobbing and broken who had once been their mentor and friend, now fallen from that pedestal along with those tragically complicit in her heartbreak.

Loss of familiarity. Loss of friends. Loss of faith. Loss of freedom. Loss of safety. Loss of trust. 

Loss upon loss upon loss upon loss.

In the animated film "Inside Out" there is a character called Joy and another called Sadness. They along with other emotions live inside the mind of Riley, a tween girl experiencing major life transition as her family moves away from the familiar to live in a new state and city. For the longest time, Riley's memories (depicted inside glass balls) reflected only the happy yellow of Joy. But when the happy memories are touched by Sadness, her blue color spreads to them instead. Eventually the emotions discover that some memories do include both and in fact, first experiencing sadness makes joy then taste more sweet.

What happens, though, when all the happy yellow memories turn completely blue? This is where some of my children find themselves in relation to Chile now. How can I as a parent with compassion acknowledge their hurt, help carry their pain, yet rescue the joyful memories from being lost? I am not okay with the Enemy stealing all that was good and beautiful from their childhood away from us. I don't want to return to the field still under a cloud, yet so much hard still awaits us. How do I prepare my own heart to refocus on blessings even while facing the fray? 

I do not want to live in dread but in determination; not in chaos but in confidence; 

not in heartache but in hope; not in fear but in faith.

The answer is, and always will be, Jesus. Jesus said to His disciples in John 16:33, "I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” 

We were never promised a loss-free life. Quite on the contrary, Jesus stated: "Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 10:37-39)

What we lose cannot compare with what have and will gain through Jesus. Freedom from sin. Reconciliation with God. Eternal life. A home in Heaven. The apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 3:8-11, "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead."

If I find more joy in the memories than in Jesus, my joy is misplaced. Only Jesus is worth the sacrifices and the shocks and the sorrows that overshadow because we currently live in a sin-sick world. Only Jesus can heal the hurts and the sadness. Only Jesus has overcome sin and death, and only Jesus is preparing a place for us in a perfect, sinless, eternal Home. Only Jesus holds me in tearful darkness, and only Jesus is my healing, brilliant Light. 

I'm borrowing these final words from Ann Voskamp from her recent blog post:

"For too long we have lived a cheap faith, instead of a costly faithfulness. 

[...]

We can say we pay allegiance to Jesus, but that is cheap talk; we aren’t paying allegiance to Jesus unless it costs us something.

Following Jesus means a cost will follow.

Following Jesus will mean a cost of comfort, cost of reputation, cost of relationship, cost of status, cost of self, cost of things near and dear, and though it may feel like a rendering in two, any cost for Jesus is only gain for now and all eternity.  I’m betting the farm and staking my whole life on the cost of following Jesus is worth it because Jesus is worthy."

Wednesday, April 12, 2023

Owen's 18th Birthday

 


Dear Owen,

How is it 18 years already? Surely it was just yesterday that we received the life-changing phone call about a tiny newborn boy in Jacksonville, Florida awaiting a family - our family. How Dad and I thank God for the privilege we were given that day and every day since!

It has been our joy to walk beside you as you learned to walk, run, swim, jump, kick, throw and however many other athletic movements you've incorporated into these first eighteen years of your life on earth. You've never been one to sit still unless you're sleeping (and you do love your sleep!) 

Your 18th birthday landed on a pretty lame day this year. Not only was it a school day but you were also scheduled to take the SAT at school. No sooner had school ended than you had to sit in driver's education class, and on the heels of that we headed directly to Wednesday evening commitments. 

Due to construction on the highway, I missed our exit and we had to rush through a fast-food drive through with barely enough time to eat our food. On top of that, Dad was away. At least we managed to start the day with traditional chocolate chip oatmeal bake, if nothing else! And a pair of basketball shoes outside your norm of non-flashy black footwear, but hopefully you liked them anyway.

 


It wasn't until Saturday that we were able to celebrate as a family and eat lunch somewhere you'd been wanting to try. We slid onto the shiny red seats of the classic Americana restaurant called "Twister Burger Diner" with high expectations. 

Our cheerful and friendly server had a hard time believing your age until we finished eating and you uncoiled your long legs to tower over him. "Hey, you grew!" he exclaimed.

It's not an uncommon reaction to the tall, lanky guy you've become. (We guesstimate 6'3" or 6'4".) I have to chuckle every time I realize that once again you've stored something on top of the refrigerator for safekeeping. What's out of reach for the rest of us is in plain sight to you!

This strikes me as a humorous but applicable spiritual analogy to where you find yourself in life right now. Everyone is asking what you plan to do in the fall, and it just isn't clear to you right now. The comforting thing is, God sees the top of the refrigerator. He's got it all figured out and you just need to trust Him and seek Him!


Owen, something I appreciate about you is your predictability and so we celebrated your birthday with peanut butter iced, chocolate cake as always. I love this picture with you and Dad and your brothers (even though I'll always miss seeing your sisters there, too.) 

Tonight I read these words written by a friend about her own four sons: "Watching them together is like being at the theater, and I am their obsessed fan. I never miss a show."

Owen, Dad and I have been your fans for 18 years and we'll never stop! But so much more importantly, God Himself is your absolute biggest fan Who loved you so much that He sent His Son to die for you. As you step into young adulthood, our deepest prayer for you is to invest your life in knowing Jesus and serving your Heavenly Father. This is truly what life is about and where everlasting joy is found.

We love you, Owen Santiago Garcia! 

Happy 18th Birthday, and many more!

All my love,

Mom


Previous birthday posts:

17th Birthday - Owen

Saturday, April 08, 2023

Happy 15th Birthday, Alec Stephen


Dear Alec,


What a year this has been for you! As you turned 15 years old, you found yourself in a different country and school and church with a new peer group who became your friends over the course of a school year in the United States. Looking back on last year's birthday post, I was encouraged to read my own words of hope written to you ("... there will be so many rich experiences and ways that God will reveal His faithfulness to us") and recognize that it has truly been so!


We celebrated your birthday in a quiet but fun way as a family. On our list of things to do was visiting the Longway Planetarium in Flint and watching the new Super Mario Brothers movie. You even humored your little brother with an astronaut picture at the former!



As you turn 15, you continue to be our constant reader and complex processor of information. You've excelled in school although Geometry is definitely not your favorite! Chess is, however, and joining the school chess club was a great choice.


So was singing in the high school choir and stepping up to play JV basketball and varsity soccer prior to that. You've made the most of your experiences stateside and we're very proud of you for that!



The week before your birthday, you had the awesome privilege to travel for six days with your 9th grade class and spend that time in Washington, DC exploring our national monuments and numerous museums. We were really excited that you had this opportunity, and hopefully it was unforgettable for you.



On your way home, your classmates surprised you with a rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday" at a rest area off the highway. I loved that your teacher Mrs. Lunney sent me the video so we could see your huge smile and enjoyment even while decrying that it was not yet your birthday (one day prior!)


Alec, I often joke that you were our first "bonus baby" because two babies came home from Haiti instead of one like we originally thought - and I am so glad! You make our family more interesting and challenge us to consider more carefully all the "whys" and "wherefores" of life. You look at life from a different perspective but one thing I have really appreciated this year is your growing willingness to observe and listen to others' thoughts and experiences even when they perplex you. Daddy and I believe God has specially created you for a unique and perfect life plan He will continue to show you as you follow Him!

We love you, Alec! Happy 15th Birthday!

All my love,

Mom

Previous birthday posts:

14th Birthday - Alec