When Furlough Doesn't Mean Furlough

"Amiga, muy buenas tardes. Espero que te encuentres bien. Paso por aquí para saludarte y después preguntarte ¿si pudiste ya hacer ese trámite?"

While "furlough" is the term traditionally applied to the time when missionaries return to their passport country and temporarily leave behind their place of service, it no longer translates well to missionary reality (if indeed it ever did.) When most people hear the word "furlough" they immediately interpret it as the Merriam-Webster Dictionary does - i.e., "a temporary leave from work." In today's internet connected world, this definition applies less than ever. 

The truth is that work left behind doesn't simply end. Rather, certain assignments follow you and find themselves squished awkwardly into a new and completely unrelated setting. For someone who is not a multitasker, I often struggle to accomplish in a timely manner those tasks that don't exactly match our ongoing events in a vastly different country, culture and daily rhythm.

The quote above is from a WhatsApp message I received recently. Translated, it states: "Friend, good afternoon. I hope you find yourself well. I stop by here to greet you and then ask you, where you able to take care of that task yet?"

The task in question was not difficult but required some details and time to achieve. A pregnancy center client with multiple children including a newborn preemie was in desperate need of a stop-gap measure to secure a rented room as a roof over their heads. She provided the name of the house owner to our FLORECE volunteer, who contacted the owner to verify before messaging me his name and bank account details. I then needed to input his information through the pregnancy center's online banking platform as an approved transfer account; authorize it with an external passkey; wait four hours; input the amount of the transfer; authorize it twice with two separate passkeys; and pass on the transaction verification to the volunteer. She would forward it to the owner so that the client and her children could move in.

I received the WhatsApp request while returning from our first Wednesday night (AWANA and prayer meeting) at our home church in three years. We were making the half hour drive to the lovely missionary house in another town where we'd arrived less than a week before. Our ten-year old was either chattering or listening to Adventures in Odyssey. My husband and I were updating each other on people we'd reconnected with and conversations we'd had at church. I took a moment to listen, reply, and tell my FLORECE colleague in Iquique that I'd set up the account upon arriving home. But by the time I walked into the Michigan house door with a child who wanted to eat and bedtime routines ahead, the task in Chile was the last thing on my mind. 

Thus, the reminder I received (and needed!) the following day. However, the next morning held another half hour drive to our son Alec's senior testimony chapel ; some grocery shopping; a return trip home; my husband departing to pick up said son for a hair appointment; his driving back for Silas and me; and all of us attending our senior son's final school choir concert of the year. We squeezed one homeschool subject in there for Silas but failed to complete the others. And I should probably mention that Alec has been living with a host family for the past eight months while we were in Chile and Pennsylvania, so we have missed all prior events until now and thus each one remaining is precious to us. 

We dropped Alec off early to his concert and while waiting in the car, remembered we had recently received an email from a supporting church pastor who needed an answer. While Silas could not sit still or stay silent, with difficulty we tried to concentrate on formulating a response on the cell phone so as not to forget to reply another day. And then it was off to enjoy the concert - something so rare in our overseas life - and to reengage with parents we met three or four years ago who still recognized our faces and were kind to stop and talk.

Even as I type this blog post, I recognize that none of this "seesaw of life" is completely unique to us. We live in an age of busyness and constant movement. It is a blessing for us as missionaries to be able to remove ourselves from one space and transfer ourselves to another, but like most everyone we cannot completely disconnect. Our key word "flexibility" does not get to stay behind in Chile, but must accompany us wherever we go. We are currently in a season of reporting to fifteen churches in ten weeks. What a whirlwind! But God is faithful, and our Anchor in frantic times.

God Is Faithful

Years ago during the long and difficult process of adopting our sons from Haiti, the lyrics and harmonies of one song in particular echoed the cries of my heart:

Deep is the river that I have to cross

Heavy the weight on my shoulder

I have discovered how great is the cost

Of trying alone to cross over

I try and I try, but the current's too strong

It's pulling me under, and my strength is gone

Don't leave me stranded

Rescue me, my God and my King

Water is rising, and I cannot breathe

Wrap your arms all around me and

Carry me over (rescue me)

Carry me over

(Selah, 2007)

Over a decade and a half has passed, during which time both beautiful and harrowing experiences have taken place in our family's life and ministry. We now find ourselves in a poignant stage of parenting young adult children with all the emotional complexities this entails. Nothing prepared us for how hard - really, really hard - it is to be thousands of miles away from our son or daughter when fear or heartbreak, confusion or disappointment comes.

Nothing prepared us for hearing things like: "Mom, I'm in so much pain that I feel like I'm going to die. Someone is taking me to the emergency room." Or: "Dad, first of all I am okay. But I had a car accident and the police came." Or: "I love you and I am proud of the work you do for God, but I feel SO ALONE ..." as wracking sobs echo across the line.

Earlier today, I told a missionary friend this. Everything that happens with young adult MK children makes you weigh the same questions over and over again: Are we doing the right thing by staying on the field or are we supposed to leave for their benefit? Are we choosing ministry over family, or are we remaining faithful to a call and trusting our children's lives to God?

I often think back to the early church and to the current persecuted church, where teaching your children to follow God meant/means suffering and quite possibly death. How do parents even do that? And how does that apply to our situation (if indeed it does?) 

Do we only stay on the field while our children are comfortable and safe? Or do we trust that the hard things that they face, and the ministry hurt that wounds them, even the danger and peril that may come, and certainly the distance that is a huge daily loss when they move away, is part of God's plan for us AND for them?

I don't have answers to any of these questions. I do have Scripture, which tells me that Jesus said, "Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life." (Mark 10:29-30)

And I have the comfort that God - the perfect Father - and Jesus - His perfect Son - know exactly how painful this separation is. For thirty-three years they lived much farther apart from one another than even the thousands of miles we face. God has not asked us to do something He was not willing to do first.

God is faithful. Time and time again He has come to the rescue of our children when we have been far away. He has summoned His people to stand in for us when Mom and Dad couldn't make orientation, or Christmas, or provide a safe place to land when life didn't work out as planned. He has sent comforters in times of sorrow, counselors in times of confusion, and caregivers in times of pain. 

As in the lyrics to the song above, we have discovered for our family that trying alone is too great a cost. We need to be rescued by our God and our King, Who chooses to do so oftentimes by means of His other servants. Sometimes we need to be carried, and always He sends us strong arms. God is faithful, and for that I am so grateful.

Messy Sunday Mornings

Our Sundays mornings can often be messy. I'm not referring to schedules, attitudes or general household clutter (although I'm sure sometimes the adjective may apply.) Rather, I'm picturing in my mind's eye scenarios like the one I encountered with our nine-year old son Silas today on the street outside FLORECE, the pregnancy center where our Sunday church services are held.

We always aim to arrive an hour early to review songs for the service, and a tradition we've started is walking half a block to the corner bakery for a dollar and a half well spent per fresh empanada for each of us. Today Silas and I drove separately from Pedro and Ian, in preparation for carpooling guests to our home for lunch after church. We arrived first, grateful to find on-street parking with no humans or dogs having made their beds in that particular spot overnight. Unfortunately, rarely can the same be said of not having made the street a bathroom. We've learned to look before stepping and to not take deep breaths while exiting the car and crossing the road!

A loud voice rang out as we stepped hand-in-hand towards the bakery. I surmised it was a street preacher yelling out hellfire and damnation towards sleeping houses, as we've occasionally witnessed before. To my surprise, I realized the bellowing belonged to a wild-looking woman with unkempt, stringy hair who was walking barefoot on the filthy pavement under the streetlight. Her short shorts and cropped top were out of place for September's cooler weather. Beneath her arm was tucked what appeared to be a beat-up Bible, and smoke was circling her from whatever substance she was at that moment ingesting.

"Mom, I'm kind of scared," Silas admitted nervously. 

Even as I reassured him that he was safe and took the opportunity for a brief "say no to drugs" speech, inwardly I couldn't help reflecting on what strange and gritty realities he observes on a regular basis. It is not unusual for our messy Sunday mornings to include walking past men and women shooting up on drugs right out in the open, or being badgered by hungover self-appointed parking attendants seeking a few coins for their next fix. Once as we were walking into our building, a drunk couple staggered out of the building next door and lost their balance, landing in an awkward heap on the dirty curb. Another time we witnessed the bloody consequences of a street fight, with one man's bruised and bleeding face blurring past our car window as we drove by.

I have to admit that sometimes I long for the neat and clean and welcoming spaces of church in the United States. Of pulling into carefully lined parking lots with room for everyone. Of stepping up to a kiosk or podium to receive my child's sticker label to attend the appropriate Sunday School class. Of walking on carpet, in air conditioning, down hallways lined with classrooms to spare. Of opening the door to large, clean, women's bathroom with multiple sinks and stalls. (True confessions, I have actually taken pictures of at least one beautiful church bathroom to send to my friends back in Chile before!)

But then I think that maybe our messy Sunday mornings carry an unexpected blessing. Maybe they grant us just the faintest glimpse of what it was like for Jesus to leave the glories of Heaven to be born among animals in a smelly stable. Maybe the brokenness all around us makes us feel just a touch of His heartbreak and compassion for a wounded world. Maybe gingerly side stepping the filth on our street provokes astonishment that He didn't avoid our mess but embraced us while we were still in it.

And maybe our nine-year old son seeing it all is preparing his heart to hold gratitude and understanding in ways we don't yet comprehend. Because Sunday mornings may be messy, but nonetheless they are good.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. 

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! 

I have overcome the world.” 

(John 16:33)

Happy 20th Birthday, Owen

Dear Owen,

Today is your 20th birthday. Two decades. How is that even possible?! We loved you before we even met you. Twenty years ago, while living in Michigan we received a phone call about a premature baby boy in Florida who needed a family. But God knew that our family also needed you. In fact, you were the specific request of your sister Eva (then four years old) asking for "a little, tiny baby brother." We are so thankful He answered her prayers by sending us you!

Which makes it all the more difficult when you - and your sisters before you - leave home and birthdays wishes become long-distance chats and calls and Amazon deliveries (though we are grateful for each of those!) We wish we could celebrate in person and give you a tight hug and share your infectious laughter. We're thankful for friends-like-family that God has placed in your life who will be part of your day instead.

The week leading up to this birthday was not an easy one. It might be fair to say the year leading up to it wasn't, either. There were high 'highs' and low 'lows'. And frankly, that's what adult life will probably look like from here on out! It's a gift and a challenge and a responsibility to make choices more independently and experience the consequences both joyful and hard. Our prayer always has been and always will be that you would pursue Jesus first and foremost and filter every choice through His Word and His will, remembering that you are God's "workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that [you] should walk in them." (Ephesians 2:10)

Thank you for staying in touch with us and telling us stories from your life that keep us both laughing and praying. Dad and I admire and appreciate your work ethic as you juggle multiple jobs and keep pressing towards goals you have set. We especially love hearing about people you meet and interact with, knowing God has given you a gift to connect with others. It gives us joy to know you are engaging with a local church and meeting men who set godly examples as loving and fun leaders and providers in their homes. We are grateful for good friends who continue to walk alongside you and provide help and encouragement when you need it most. We pray you will always remember that "whoever walks with the wise becomes wise." (Proverbs 13:20)

Happy Birthday, Owen Santiago Garcia! I hope you love your sherpa wool hoodie (since as a true Florida-born son, you definitely don't like being cold!) I hope the "positive crochet taco" makes you smile like it did me. And I hope you feel loved, remembered and cherished on your special day.

All my love,

Mom

-----------------------------------------
Previous birthday posts:

19th Birthday - Owen

18th Birthday - Owen

17th Birthday - Owen

16th Birthday - Owen
15th Birthday - Owen
14th Birthday - Owen
13th Birthday - Owen
12th Birthday - Owen
11th Birthday - Owen
10th Birthday - Owen
9th Birthday - Owen
8th Birthday - Owen
7th Birthday - Owen
6th Birthday - Owen
5th Birthday - Owen
4th Birthday - Owen
3rd Birthday - Owen
2nd Birthday - Owen

A Letter for Dad

I remember receiving the news about my dad in September 2013, while enjoying the blessing of my in-laws' three-month visit to Chile. The information felt shocking and surreal, yet it provided answers to months of strange symptoms and explained Dad's eroding health. Writing, as usual, provided an overflow for the well of emotions inspired by the diagnosis and the chasm of unknowns it created.

Honestly, I am not sure how many of these entries Dad was ever able to read before reading joined the ever-lengthening list of things stripped from him by Parkinson's disease. (Originally diagnosed with MSA, over the years it was generally accepted that his case was actually PD.) But occasionally I still write because I don't want the words to go unspoken, or the memories unremembered.

Most of all, I write in gratitude to God for the man He molded and gave me for an earthly father. 

I write and collect them here: https://aletterfordad.blogspot.com/

 

I Want to Remember This Christmas, Part Three

Wednesday, December 25

When Silas, wearing yesterday's clothes he'd fallen asleep in, popped into our third-floor bedroom with a cheery, "Merry Christmas!" we were still sound asleep after our all-too-brief night. I made some room on the bed, telling him this year was a little different because we'd gone to sleep so late and our friends were downstairs on the couches. He'd need to be patient, and I encouraged him to lay down with us and get a little more rest. Fortunately it didn't take much for him to doze off deeply. By the time he awoke again, the rest of us were on our feet with presents delivered under the tree and stuffed stockings lined up on the couches in anticipation of his arrival.

With the help of multiple hands, both the chocolate chip oatmeal bake and a yummy new egg bake were set to bake in the oven before we all gathered in the living room. Pedro started our time together by reading the biblical narrative of the birth of Christ. Then the opening of stocking gifts began. I always enjoy sitting back and watching as the curious little items Pedro and I have discovered and collected are unwrapped. It's helpful to have siblings flying down from the States so we can add things not readily available here! This year the black (cherry) "Naughty" and white (peppermint) "Nice" tic tacs were a particular hit. 

And then it was time to gather around the tables in the back room for Christmas brunch where we each took turns saying what we love about Jesus. Somewhat impromptu was a gentle singing of "Happy Birthday, Jesus" with our children and what mesmerized me most was the lack of any goofiness but rather simple recognition that He truly deserves the celebration. This tradition of pausing and sharing food and presence together is special to me.

Eventually we cleaned up and returned to the living room for the distribution of gifts. Our family tradition is three gifts from Mom and Dad to children (in keeping with the three gifts of the Magi.) For our sons, one of those gifts is invariably a Lego set because no matter how old they've grown it seems they truly enjoy not only the gift but the comfortable familiarity of spending Christmas afternoon peacefully putting it together. This year, I thought we might surprise our visiting friends Cata and Ibodne - who are both creative artists in their own ways - with Lego sets, too. They were a hit! Just for fun and to remember, these were the sets this year:

- Owen, LEGO Architecture Paris 

- Ian, LEGO Technic Koenigsegg Jesko (car)

- Alec, LEGO I Am Groot

- Silas, LEGO Technic Garbage Truck

- Cata, LEGO Bird's Nest (and flowers)

- Ibodne, LEGO Creator Rabbit (and flowers)

Through the mail, we'd sent Eva a Lego set in Iowa also. A couple of days later, she texted pictures from her apartment as she listened to an audio book we'd given her on the CD player we bought her, and the cute figure of Dobby (also the name of one of her two cats) came together. Not having Eva with us on Christmas was bittersweet, but we're thankful she could be with Aunt Nina and Uncle Kyle and the cousins, and for video calls with her and our parents to bridge the distance at least a little bit.

Something that was special to Pedro and me this year was observing our older two sharing gifts they purchased on their own for family members. Isabel brought Liberty University-themes items for everyone while Owen outfitted his teenaged brothers with tank tops and pajama pants; added to Isabel's water bottle collection, much to her delight; and made Silas' day with yet another capybara.

Several of us napped on various pieces of furniture during the warm afternoon. Pedro made a yummy turkey soup; Ibodne created a delicious spicy pebre; I fried up mini sopaipillas; and Cata made us cute Christmas-themed fruit and marshmallow shish kabobs. In the evening we watched "The Hundred-Foot Journey" movie in Spanish which as expected, our friends greatly enjoyed with its themes of fine cuisine and international friendship.

I write all this not because it's earth shattering or deeply insightful, but because the sweet, calm fellowship of a simple, restful day spent with family and friends-like-family who love Jesus and one another was my dearest gift this year. I am thankful to God, and that is why I want to remember this Christmas.

I Want to Remember This Christmas, Part Two

Tuesday, December 24, 2024

As usual, Silas was up bright and early on Christmas Eve with his excitement for the holidays brimming over! Our kitchen began bustling with activity from morning to night. First it was baking chocolate chip banana bread for our gifts to neighbors. I guess it's fair to say that I procrastinated this year, and we took a different tact (from making a variety of Christmas cookies) in order to simplify! But on our annual pre-Christmas shopping getaway, Pedro and I found cute snowman-themed boxes made of wood and tin that provided the perfect gift container. Unexpectedly, we discovered that they were brand-new from Kohl's with a price tag of $34.99 USD when we paid only 2500 pesos (approximately $2.50 USD) for each one. That was a fun surprise! When my nine loaves were done, Pedro began his cooking in earnest. Turkey, homemade stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, carrot salad and cucumber salad were all made to perfection. To this feast our friend Solange added her signature pea, onion and parsley salad as well as a beautiful appetizer of palta reina (half an avocado stuffed with chicken salad) on a bed of lettuce. To Pedro's delight, our friend Yilena from Colombia brought homemade arroz con leche which we were too full to eat that night and he got to enjoy for several days afterwards!

Our guests were nine women without close family nearby. Solange with daughter Sofia and her visiting sister and two nieces; Yilena with daughter Valeria; Ibodne and Catalina. We said 8 PM but of course that's not the time we started dinner! So between eating, talking, laughing, afterwards playing games of Sushi Go and Pit while drinking coffee and enjoying sweet snacks, it was 11:45 PM before we knew it. We learned that the visiting 8-year old niece believes in Santa Claus and that her family tradition is to run outside to catch a glimpse of him before midnight, while in the meantime someone puts her gifts under the tree "from Santa." While it's not our tradition, it seemed a kindness to allow since her little family is in the midst of a heartbreaking loss. It was tender to be told "thank you" in her sweet voice for supposedly allowing Santa into my living room! Soon we were exchanging gifts and snapping pictures. Around 12:30 AM, Pedro took all the guests but Ibodne and Catalina home (since they were spending the night on our couches.) By popular vote, it was decided to fulfill our family's tradition of watching "The Nativity" on Christmas Eve before heading to bed. Pedro was exhausted after all day cooking so he retired early. I stepped into the kitchen with Owen observing me to complete another tradition (mixing up oatmeal bake for the next day's breakfast.) Thus it was 3 AM before most heads hit their pillows!   

I Want to Remember This Christmas, Part One

Friday, December 20, 2024

We carried out our family Christmas tradition of exchanging names and finding a $5 mil gift at the feria navideña on the corner of Heroes de la Concepcion and Tadeo Haenke streets. We headed down there around 8:30 PM with our friend Ibodne. Earlier that day, she had given us all her special gift of Christmas sweaters from the fardo she purchased for resale this season. Notwithstanding the heat, Silas was delightfully determined to wear his green "Oh, Snap!" gingerbread sweater out shopping! As usual, parking for blocks nearby was nearly impossible to find so Pedro dropped us off and we joined the throngs of people on foot. It was crazy and chaotic just as it always is - enjoyed by some and dreaded by others - but we divided into groups of twos so that each pair had cell phone communication. My buddy was Silas who had just one thing on his mind for both himself and the name he'd chosen: Capybaras! Needless to say, it was a bit exhausting trying to get him to focus on his task and purpose but we finally achieved his purchase and picked up a new pet bed for Whittaker while we were at it. After delivering Ibodne to FLORECE, at 10:30 PM we ordered a pichanga diente de dragon with mayo ajo for pick up from Lomitos Porky's and in true iquiqueño fashion had a late-night family feast at home.

Sunday, December 22, 2024

At the Iglesia Bautista de Fe, we invited those who wished to share a verse, song, poem, or other "Regalo para Jesús" as our Christmas program this year. It was a truly special time to see and hear expressions of love to our Savior. Ian graciously agreed to play the role of Joseph for the children's special number, and Alec to play guitar/sing with Ibodne. The night before, I sprung on our visiting children Owen and Isabel a request to join their parents in a reader's theater. After some consideration, both agreed and the next day Isabel referred to the experience as a humorous "You know you're a pastor's kid when you're handed a script the night before and asked to read this!"

Monday, December 23, 2024

Pedro and I began the day with an early grocery store run to avoid the Christmas crowd, followed by a court hearing downtown joined by Isabel as we all provided public support to a victimized friend. We then proceeded to park in the packed underground lot of Jumbo to cross the road to the feria navideña for the gift I ran out of time to purchase on Friday. It was suffocatingly hot at midday but with his usual good humor Pedro quickly picked out his own eccentric gift to simplify things and lend me a hand! Next the three of us enjoyed refreshing fruit juices at La Ecuatoriana. Cucumber/celery/pineapple/lemon for the parents and strawberry/banana/milk for the girl!

That evening, we did our family gift exchange reveal. Starting with the oldest giver to the youngest, Pedro presented (me) with a lovely laser-cut Bible verse in the shape of a tree. Then I offered (Pedro) his self-selected gift which was an Asian-influenced triangular straw hat that he said he'd wear at the grill. Isabel gave (Ian) two small colognes and a necklace with the letter "E" for Emma. With a somewhat sheepish grin he announced, "Not gonna lie, I like it!" Next Owen produced his gift for (Alec) which was a really cool Lego-sized (though not branded) silver Darth Vader with accessories. Ian followed by admitting he'd asked (Owen) to choose his own gift, which was a quite unexpected pink baseball hat with a sunflower! Then Alec delighted (Silas) with a stuffed capybara in a green sweatshirt on a keychain. And finally, Silas gifted (Isabel) a large comfy pillow featuring a capybara eating a cookie which will surely remind her of her little brother in the future. The hugs and smiles are always the best part of this simple family tradition, but the icing on top this year was adding what we loved about the person whose name we chose. 

Unfortunately, I couldn't remember all seven but recorded five:

Dad to Mom: Everything she does for our family

Mom to Dad: How he loves and serves in our family in so many ways

Owen to Alec: Really enjoys talking with him

Ian to Owen: How he can fill a room with laughter and humor

Alec to Silas: His "zaniness" and creativity

Happy 17th Birthday, Ian

Dear Ian,

On your birthday and every day, I am thankful for you. Your gentle nature and beautiful smile are a blessing to our family. You bring a peaceful spirit to our home. You astound me with how you keep such a nice and neat room as a teenager. I admire how disciplined you are with your healthy habits. I'm grateful for your patience and that you are a peacemaker. I appreciate your faithful help in the music ministry alongside your brother, even when it is sometimes a challenge.

This is your second to last birthday at home. I don't like to think about that too much! For your birthday activity this year, you wanted to wait until Owen and Isabel arrived from the States for Christmas break in order to ride go-karts together. So it was a somewhat quiet day, one where you and Silas and Alec did some creating with Legos around the already set up Christmas tree.

But you were also keen to try a new Venezuelan restaurant that was recommended to us, so we headed there for your birthday lunch. You greatly enjoy a good cheese-filled “tequeño” so of course we made sure to have plenty of those for starters! 

Your choice of meal was a giant “patacón” sandwich with flattened fried plantain as the “bread.” Dad’s was the traditional “pabellón” meal with black beans, rice, fried plantains, pulled beef. Silas, por supuesto, ate his favorite “arepas” while Alec and I enjoyed our own selections. No one went hungry on your birthday!

Now let's talk about dessert, which we did NOT eat at the Venezeulan restaurant. Ian, you stand out in our family as the lone eschewer of chocolate. Note that I did not write "CHEWer" but "ESCHEWer" which means "a person who deliberately abstains from or avoids something they dislike or consider harmful." We do not understand it, but we respect it. So your birthday "cake" was actually slices of cheesecake from the Silvestre restaurant. And it was REALLY good!

Happy 17th Birthday, Ian David Garcia! We are so glad that God gave us the privilege of being your parents and doing life with you. We pray you will continue to pursue Jesus wholeheartedly and allow Him to lead you. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." (Pr. 3:5-6)

All my love,
Mom 

Birthday Posts by Year:

Ian's 16th birthday post

Ian's 15th birthday post

Ian's 14th birthday post

Ian's 13th birthday post

Ian's 12th birthday post

Ian's 11th birthday post

Ian's 10th birthday post

Ian's 9th birthday post

Ian's 8th birthday post

Ian's 7th birthday post

Ian's 6th birthday post

Ian's 5th birthday post

Ian's 4th birthday post

Ian's 3rd birthday post

Ian's 2nd birthday post

Ian's 1st birthday post

Happy 9th Birthday, Silas Eben

Dear Silas,

This year, I tried hard not to think about it being your last birthday in single digits. Instead, I focused on your current capybara craze and little-boy energy and delight. It was such a treat for you that regional elections in Chile - and your school being a polling place - meant that the Monday of your birthday was free from classes. This allowed us to pick up your friends in the morning and get the most out of your special day!

You didn't know this, but Mommy had a very short night before your birthday. At church we celebrated Domingo Familiar with an international compartir in the evening due to elections. Afterwards you announced that you'd never been excited to go to bed before - except maybe at Christmas - but that night you were so that your birthday would get here quickly! I still had two birthday recipes to put together, though. Our family tradition for birthday breakfasts (oatmeal bake) has to be started the night before. And your special request for Aunt Terri's banana cake had me up until nearly 2 AM, but all for a good reason!

You were so eager to open gifts that you pleaded for the opportunity to open just one of the three we typically bestow each birthday. In order to keep you content and occupied, we consented and enjoyed watching you engage with forest animals and watercolors first thing in the morning!

Of course, the highlight of your birthday was collecting each one of your best buddies - Sergio, Santiago and Facundo - and heading to the Zofri mall to drive go-carts on the roof there. (You wore your cowboy boots just in case you weren't quite tall enough, so that the heel could make up the difference!) It was so much fun watching the four of you get ready and race until you were probably quite dizzy but oh-so-happy!

Then appetites were satisfied at the food court and on the drive home, we stopped at Playa Brava so the four of you could climb, jump and play to your young hearts' content. It was such a joy just to watch your carefree antics together.

Waiting to celebrate at home and eat birthday cake with you were your two big brothers, Ian and Alec. (Mommy was definitely outnumbered by a houseful of boys this birthday!) Daddy introduced your friends to the game Kingdomino. He is a good and entertaining teacher, so it was an enjoyable time for all! One more birthday on the books, hopefully a special one for you. 

Happy 9th Birthday, Silas! The greatest gift of all is the Lord Jesus as your Savior. Always keep your eyes and heart on Him. He'll never fail you. Mommy and Daddy love you so much!

Love,

Mommy

Birthday Posts by Year:

Silas' 8th Birthday Post

Silas' 7th Birthday Post

Silas' 6th Birthday Post
Silas' 5th Birthday Post
Silas' 4th Birthday Post
Silas' 3rd Birthday Post
Silas' 2nd Birthday Post
Silas' 1st Birthday Post

Ten Days in the Life (of a Missionary Wife)

Sometimes it's difficult to pull up the memory of what happened just a few hours ago, much less last week. 

The purpose of this post is a personal recollection of what life looks like right now. 

It's a bird's-eye view, not intended to be a full and complete recounting but a remembrance for the future.

__________________________________

6/23 SUNDAY: 9:45 AM left home, drove downtown to FLORECE for music practice prior to the Iglesia Bautista de Fe morning service starting at 11:00. Pedro prepped lunch the night before, a delicious roast in the crockpot for our seven guests (five planned, two unplanned.) He added a celery + palmito + palta salad while I made Chilean rice. Robyn contributed potato + beet salad and tomato + onion salad. Pam brought yummy brownies and American ice cream. Yilena brought Valeria, and toddler attention was captured again by the Melissa & Doug wooden ice cream set that came home from furlough! It was an enjoyable afternoon of food and fellowship.

6/24 MONDAY: On the phone until 1 AM with a daughter, so waking up was hard. Computer work in the morning while Elisa did school with Alec. Multiple conversations by WhatsApp. Never-ending to-do list: medical/ministry expense reports, airfare searches, ministry decisions. Health concerns for an adult child. Yummy grilled lunch thanks to Pedro, and a fun time playing "Nab-It" with him and Alec afterwards. Then headed downtown around 4:30 to help Ibodne with printing her mosaic catalog, making a PowerPoint presentation for a supporting church, explaining how to use the voice recorder app. Ate completos from the corner store around 8:30 PM once Alec arrived from boxing.

6/25 TUESDAY: At FLORECE, mostly computer work on the third floor. Excitedly awaiting reports from Eva and Aunt Terri about their visit in Iowa today. Loved Eva's video of her put-together new apartment that she finished organizing at 4 AM! So did her FLORECE "tias." Translated Pastor Andy M's devotionals on John chapter 1 for the first discipleship/Bible study with Y at 4:30. Pedro at home had Bible study in the morning with her brother J. A friend requested a video call to pray for a special need. We had an extended spiritual talk with the opportunity to clearly share the gospel again as we long for her salvation. Busy, full, blessed day.

6/26 WEDNESDAY: Fresh, delicious hummus and toast for breakfast thanks to Pedro. 10 AM we had a video call with Patience on pre-field, then with Melanie. I collected documents and submitted pasavante request online for upcoming Antofagasta trip. WhatsApp chat with someone needing benevolent help. Video call with Mom and Jenn to hear about the facility where Dad will be moved. Aunt Pam and Uncle Jon took Silas out to La Ecuatoriana and brought back jugos naturales. Updated expiration dates for our documents. Heard that Eva had an accident at work, probably concussion. Pedro took boys to soccer, Alec trying out his age group with Cosayach.

6/27 THURSDAY: Read nice FB post from the young family retiring from the house in Flint. Prayer request for God's provision of new renters. Reminisced and at Pedro's thoughtful suggestion, wrote to the friends who rented us our first apartment and had a nice chat. 9 AM headed down to FLORECE, busy day from the outset. Met with client whose infant son needs answer to seizures. We conference called with pastor in Antofagasta willing to reach out to medical specialists there. Pedro received a request for urgent financial help from someone in Santiago after a car accident who was threatened with a weapon if he didn't pay today. I left the lights on in the Toyota FunCargo cambio de volante and had a dead battery. The neighbor with the the new completo business kindly brought the battery from his own car to jump mine. Headed straight to reunion de apoderados at Silas' school. It ran late, so Elykar and I couldn't make it to prayer meeting downtown and had an impromptu, encouraging time of conversation and dinner at Lomitos Porky's instead.

6/28 FRIDAY: Between 4 and 5 AM, a trip to the bathroom revealed the unwelcome news that our water had been cut without warning. First thoughts, guests are scheduled for a lunch of Venezuelan arepas that are to be prepared in my kitchen and that's not going to work without water! Pushed the time back so Lamedas arrived to prepare after 1 PM when water returned. Snapped a fun goodwill picture with Pedro between their two vino tinto soccer jerseys because Venezuela beat Mexico in their Copa America game. Enjoy lunch with Sharps and arepas with pulled beef, grilled chicken, cheese, ham, avocado, black beans, the works. Pam brought chocolate chip bars and American ice cream. Sweet farewell fellowship. Movie night at home with Pedro watching "Ordinary Angels" which was a poignant true story. Nighttime chat with Eva and her bunnies.

6/29 SATURDAY: Why is 8:30 AM considered a good time for youth soccer on a weekend morning? Aunt Pam and Uncle Jon wanted to see one of Silas' games and made the sacrifice to join us. To our surprise, an unknown mom from the other team came over to say hello to Pam and it turns out she'd done her nails on this visit and they'd chatted. A reminder of how simple kindness can create contacts! We drove to the Agro Sur and picked up empanadas from Dese Un Gusto for lunch. Fried cheese, baked mexicana and pollo acelga. Got to talk to Ian at the Ranch and catch up on his week. Played Settlers of Catan. Owen called but I was out the door for ladies' meeting down at FLORECE. Picked up Pam who kindly prepared the devotional in my place this month while I led games. Fifteen ladies plus six kids was a wonderful turnout, including A joining us and FLORECE client L visiting for the first time! Took the van so I could do half a dozen drop offs, always an "adventure" in traffic at night.

6/30 SUNDAY: Music practice before church with Alec and Jon on guitar for the last time this visit. Really sweet spirit and joyful singing today! Domingo Familiar on the book of Isaiah with Ibodne dividing the group into four and attentive interactions. Yesterday's guests joined us again and everyone enjoyed the tiempo de compartir. We picked up menu lunches from Daniel "the cake guy" and while waiting, ate ice cream cones from Marrasquino's overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The joys of living in Iquique. Dropped off lunches to Solange who continues to be very ill. Happy to see glimpses of Owen on his host mom's FB page, funny video of him and his "summer sister" celebrating a corn hole victory. Late afternoon, Eva's first Chilean elementary school teacher stopped by for a visit with queque and brazo de reina as a gift. We shared that and coffee together. What a blessing from God she was all those years ago and we still pray for her family's salvation. Video chatted with Eva while she was here. May God help us keep in touch, witnessing and caring.

7/1 MONDAY: Calmer day. Chatted with young adult child about the unfortunate realities of health insurance. Concerned how to meet her physical needs. Short school day for Silas. Enjoyed Chinese with homemade garlic ginger rice. Treated boys to "Inside Out 2", dropped off Alec to volleyball, drove downtown in search of purple t-shirts for Silas' school anniversary week. Walked a scary block in the dark down Amunategui looking unsuccessfully for purple pom-poms. Received a message from former client K going through struggles and spent a couple of hours in communication. Stayed up late writing our prayer email update and a letter from FLORECE to the hospital in Antofagasta. collecting documentation and emailing to the pastor who's helping us on behalf of a client's baby.

7/2 TUESDAY: Left shortly before 9 AM to pick up Marcela and head downtown, found street parking outside FLORECE, shuffled appointments due to a last-minute volunteer absence, prayer time, clients arrived early. Consistent rhythm of appointments, goodbye visit and gift of individual chocolate-covered lemon pies from La Paulina from Sharps. Between all of us, lots of chuckles and a couple of outtakes, recorded a video for sister center in Arequipa celebrating their anniversary this month. Picked up Y for discipleship Bible study, dropped her off, enjoyed our last meal with Sharps including grilled chicken and pork by Pedro and homemade mac-n-cheese by Aunt Pam. Showed them the first half of "Inside Out." Pedro and I prayed at bedtime for the family of their dear missionary friend who suddenly passed away.

Happy 22nd Birthday to Isabel

Dear Isabel,

On your birthday and every day, I am thankful to God for your beautiful life. From feisty toddler to spunky girl to tired yet hardworking college student, every stage has been an adventure with you! 

Daddy and I are very proud of your stick-to-itiveness even when it has involved a change of direction that hasn't always been easy. We are truly delighted to observe now the enjoyment in your studies and we continue to be encouraged by your caregiving tendencies in all three of your jobs and church nursery ministry as well!

This year on your birthday, your cousin Mati helped us out by delivering fresh flowers. Your summer roommates/friends invited you out for ice cream. I had fun choosing a couple of t-shirts with sayings I thought you would appreciate. (Whenever I do, I think back on the two of us reading through the "Squeaky Clean" mystery series on our Kindles - a sweet mother/daughter memory! You always got a kick out of the main character's humorous/snarky statements on her daily tees.)

While these particular statements aren't humorous, they do reflect one of the passions of your heart which is the defense of the unborn. We are proud of your part in Students for Life. We admire your courageous, biblical stance and willingness to dedicate time to this life-and-death issue in our country.

Thank you for keeping us in the loop of your life with Snapchat "snaps" and WhatsApp "chats" and video calls and brief (oh-so-brief!) written texts. It warms my heart that you care to call and fill us in on your adventures. We love you and we miss you.

Happy 22nd birthday to our dearly beloved daughter Isabel Hope!

All my love,

Mom

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Birthday Posts by Year:

21st Birthday - Isabel

20th Birthday - Isabel
19th Birthday - Isabel
18th Birthday - Isabel
17th Birthday - Isabel
16th Birthday - Isabel
15th Birthday - Isabel
14th Birthday- Isabel
13th Birthday - Isabel
12th Birthday - Isabel
11th Birthday - Isabel
10th Birthday - Isabel
9th Birthday - Isabel
8th Birthday - Isabel
7th Birthday - Isabel
6th Birthday - Isabel
5th Birthday - Isabel

This Weird and Wonderful Life

"Our life is so weird!" The great thing about 27 years married to Pedro, including 15 years in the city of Iquique, is that I can say this to him and know he totally gets it. He gets it, and the fact that I'm not saying it to complain but rather in a combination of awe/exhaustion/humor with which he readily agrees.

This particular statement I made today in light of what our Saturday schedule turned out to be. I came downstairs to the smell of coffee this morning, only to find Pedro missing at 8:30 AM. It took me searching for him in a few different places and pondering where he might be, to remember that he'd agreed to drive a couple from church to the airport. Thus started his day! He stopped at the grocery store on his way home out of the kindness of his heart and the thoughtful desire to make my morning with fresh marraqueta and palta for breakfast.

Silas was the next one up, eager to call his cousin Kai in southern Chile and begin their practice of playing a video game online while talking to one another on WhatsApp in the meantime. He knew his time was limited because despite his lack of enthusiasm, we've committed him to a gently competitive youth soccer league which had a game scheduled at 12:40 today. The tricky thing was, yesterday Pedro received a request from a pastor in Santiago to pick up a woman from his church at the bus terminal in Iquique today at 1 PM. Which meant in order for me to accompany him, we'd need to ask our friends whose son was playing in the same game whether they could take charge of Silas in the meantime.

The plan was to pick Susana up at Iquique's main bus terminal, then drive her to the so-called "Bolivian barrio" to purchase bus tickets for the next leg of her journey into Bolivia. This area is just a few blocks from FLORECE, so we stopped there for a bathroom break and to drop off her bags in the meantime. As God would have it, Catalina who normally is at work on Saturdays happened to arrive for the afternoon. Long story short, what we thought would be the order of events changed for the better and Susana was able to quickly obtain her tickets, have lunch with Catalina, take a shower and rest briefly before continuing her journey at 5 PM.

We in the meantime had a lunch commitment at 3 PM which was to include our three sons and church planting teammates. In anticipation of the departure of Jenn to Canada, our Venezuelan partners had invited us all to try a typical meal of cheese-stuffed cachapas, fried chicharrones and a sweet lemon drink called papelón at a food stand under the semi-permanent tents across from Jumbo. Fortunately, our Venezuelan partners were the same parents who had Silas already, and Jenn kindly brought Ian and Alec along so we could make the appointed time. Lunch was an interesting and enjoyable affair of new tastes and cultures. Anthony and Elykar jokingly informed Pedro that they would  need to find a different pastor after he added spicy pebre to his cachapa (which is like a sweet cornmeal pancake folded over a thick slice of cheese for a nice sweet and salty taste.) They always tease him about messing with their national dishes!

In order to get Susana to the bus, we couldn't linger and returned a little after 4:30 to FLORECE to pick up her and her things. Surprisingly on schedule, three buses from three different companies chugged up calle Esmeralda and opened their doors for passengers. Trying not to draw too much attention since I am an obvious foreigner in that part of town, I took some pictures because the area both fascinates and repels me. Like so much of Iquique where it never rains, it is dirty but bustling with people and humming with informal commerce that is often swept away by Chilean carabineros inspecting (non-existent) permits. What repels me are things like the handwritten sign on the front of a sagging old building - "Hiring girls to work HERE" - and it doesn't take imagination to know what type of job they're offering. Nor is this the only part of town where we see such things.

We hopped in the car once again and drove back to FLORECE, this time to pick up Catalina and drive her across town for her ladies' meeting. By the time we made it home after a quick stop at the grocery store for ice cream, it was getting dark at 6 PM and felt like we had been going all day. Yet it was an enjoyable day insomuch that Pedro and I spent lots of time with one another, albeit mostly waiting or driving in the car. And we served others, together.

Which is why I said, "Our life is so weird!" But I wouldn't want to share this weird and wonderful life with anyone but him.

The Bank & the Beggar

I am not sure when we first noticed the beggar man.

I feel funny calling him that, but those two words describe his condition. He was a man and he was begging. Not, as far as we could tell, from everyone. Specifically from us because as it turns out, he was hungry. Or at least thirsty. Maybe both.

But let me back up to our reason for being there in the first place. ("We" being my missionary colleague Jenn, our Chilean friend and pregnancy center volunteer Catalina, and me.) With baited breath and burgeoning blood pressure, for what felt like the millionth time we'd entered the bank responsible for FLORECE's account to provide what felt like the billionth piece of paperwork. For two years we had been blocked from accessing the account and shuffled from one account manager to another, each less helpful than the one before. We knew for a fact that the current manager had no desire to see us, as she'd expressly directed us to a different floor and set of customer service windows this time.

Though there was a moment where it felt like once again all would be in vain, by God's grace and to His glory we paraded out of there with promised access at last! It felt surreal and worth celebrating! The bank sits on the central plaza of our city, with multiple mom-and-pop places offering cheap breakfast and lunch meal options. A one-price "menu" typically includes both drink and fare, and in this case we opted for scrambled eggs, fresh bread and hot tea. What it lacked in anything resembling fanciness, it made up by being budget friendly! At least for us but not, as we soon learned, for our world-weary friend.

I can't remember if he first requested money, which is typically the case. It's not our practice to give it, however, in light of the rampant abuse of substances in our city. So he asked for our leftover tea. Leftover as in already half drunk, with our germs, but he didn't care. We had no real reason on our end to refuse his request, except there was no disposable cup to give him. "That's okay," he assured us and without further ado, walked over to the nearest public garbage can and withdrew a used paper coffee cup still containing a little liquid. He added our leftover tea to the coffee dregs and gratefully sipped it.

To be honest, it was disgusting. And distressing. And convicting. 

In a nutshell, it was a wordless depiction of the dichotomy we witness almost daily where we serve. We're in close proximity at every stoplight where weary parents peddle candy while dusty children sit dangerously close to the curb, or anxious young men vie for coins to wash our windshield. It's in clear view from our front windows at FLORECE where the two guys across the street shake out dirty sleeping bags on the sidewalk once more, stagger by hung over, or do their drugs in plain sight on a Sunday morning. It's at our elbows in situations like this one where we're comfortably spending our money and filling our bellies only to turn around and gaze into a hungry man's eyes.

We are rejoicing in answered prayers and God's provision. They are barely surviving on society's leftovers and lukewarm mercy. Many are reaping consequences of personal choices. We're conscious of unmerited grace. We're frustrated by unfair bureaucracy but fully financed when we need it. They're wondering about their next meal and safe shelter. We question our responsibility in the face of it all.

"The Bank & the Beggar" isn't my greatest blog title. But it reminds me of that day and those feelings and my need to constantly seek God's wisdom, compassion and plan. Whether in moments of celebration with friends or sudden, uncomfortable exchanges with strangers. WWJD ... What Would Jesus Do? That's the most important question I need to answer, and obey.

Happy 19th Birthday, Owen

Dear Owen,

Celebrating my children's birthdays from a continent away is something I never want to get used to. I'm writing this letter several months removed from the actual date but still very thankful that although we couldn't be with you, many friends made your day special with their greetings and presence. 

This was your first birthday away from home as you attended your freshman year of college. My best-laid plans may have backfired when you didn't pick up your giant birthday cookie from the campus store until AFTER the weekend, and I never did hear if it was stale or not, but here's hoping it's true that "it's the thought that counts!"

You made it easy for us as far as gifts go, since primarily your desire was some money to eat out and enjoy non-cafeteria food off campus. (Whoever said the way to a man's heart was through his stomach, was definitely thinking of you!) And I'm glad you liked the bright hoodie I picked out, because it makes me smile every time I see a picture of you wearing it.

Something else that made me smile this birthday was seeing your friends' birthday wishes to you on different apps. I countered the melancholy of not knowing half of your new friends with the gratitude that you have so many!

Owen, all your life you have been surrounded by people who love you and enjoy you. It's in part because you, too, enjoy and love people. You are interested in people's stories and make people feel comfortable. You bring lots of laughter wherever you are. This gift of relating to others, God has given you with a purpose. "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." (1 Corinthians 10:31) He has a plan for your life now and in the future to glorify Him, and it is my prayer that you will make it your aim to discover His will. That you will set aside predetermined thoughts and potential insecurities and pursue whatever He shows you. I don't know what that is any more than you do right now, but I know that He will make it clear step by step if you ask Him.

Happy 19th Birthday, Owen! Dad and I love you so much, and we look forward to every conversation with you. We're proud of your work ethic and happy for the fun you've had this summer. We're grateful for life lessons learned along the way. We are praying for success, spiritually and academically and relationally, in this next season of your life in a new school. And we're already looking forward to Christmas when we can see you again!

All my love,

Mom

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Previous birthday posts:

18th Birthday - Owen

17th Birthday - Owen

16th Birthday - Owen
15th Birthday - Owen
14th Birthday - Owen
13th Birthday - Owen
12th Birthday - Owen
11th Birthday - Owen
10th Birthday - Owen
9th Birthday - Owen
8th Birthday - Owen
7th Birthday - Owen
6th Birthday - Owen
5th Birthday - Owen
4th Birthday - Owen
3rd Birthday - Owen
2nd Birthday - Owen