Practical Home Church Support for Missionaries on Furlough

I wanted to come up with a shorter, catchier title for this post but this was the best I could do in the midst of packing up our lives once again. This month, we celebrate 21 years of appointment as missionaries sent by our home church in Michigan. Soon we'll celebrate 16 years since arriving to the country of Chile. For the past 10 months we've had the joy of living stateside close to our home church while carrying out the responsibilities of our 3rd furlough. 

As we wrap up our time here, we've been reflecting on the blessing of a home church that has faithfully provided practical support. Pedro and I made a list, compiling the ways we have been supported along with a few additional ideas that we hope might be helpful to others.

1. Coordinating Airport Pick-Up/Drop-Off

A missionary family will likely arrive with at least 1 carry-on, 1 suitcase, and 1 personal item per person! Outgoing, the number of suitcases may double or more. Even if family members are nearby or willing, most do not have enough passenger space or trunk capacity. Additionally, sometimes economy calls for arrival at a larger airport farther from the missionary family's final destination. A home church that coordinates airport pick-up and/or drop-off is a huge blessing! It make take a church van or multiples vehicles/drivers. Often missionaries do not have cell phone connection upon arrival, so prior communication about where to meet is especially helpful.

2. Awareness of Housing Needs Prior to Furlough

Every missionary family's situation is different. A few churches own missionary homes. For some missionaries, a family member's guest apartment is regularly available. But for many missionaries like us, where to live on furlough poses an extremely stressful mystery. A home church that is aware of this need and willing to help secure a solution is such a comfort! This furlough through connections thoughtfully explored and coordinated by our home church on our behalf, God provided a missionary home owned by a church we'd never even visited before.

3. Initial Groceries/Gift Cards

We've been blessed by each of these options on different furloughs. Whether pre-stocking an initial assortment of groceries or providing gift cards to area stores, both help financially and practically in the early days of getting reacquainted with shopping at "home!"

4. Assisting with Vehicle/Transportation Issues

Often missionaries do not have a car to drive upon arrival and unlike their countries of service, public transportation is not readily available! Even once they do obtain one vehicle, chances are that members of the family sometimes need to go in different directions at the same time. (In Iquique, we just tell our kids to hop on the bus!) In many countries, missionary children cannot get their licenses due to higher age limits or paperwork challenges. So while older siblings driving younger siblings is common in the States, many teenaged MKs still need to catch up on driver's education. It's also possible that young adult MKs are already stateside for college without vehicles and the entire family cannot fit into a furlough vehicle when they all get together. 

Practical ways our family was helped this furlough was a car swap at Christmastime so that our whole family could travel with our college-aged kids to visit their grandparents in Pennsylvania and Florida in a single vehicle. Another was the loaning of a second vehicle for several days when one of us had to travel out of state. People offering to pick up/drop off our teens was helpful. While still on the field, it was a blessing when other adults took our stateside daughters practice driving and helped search for affordable cars. On the tail end of furlough, selling or returning vehicles can be tricky to coordinate and in the past we've been blessed to have help with this detail also.

5. Playdates/Childcare

Especially with younger children, the transition times of setting up/packing up house can be very intense (as with any move.) Playdates or childcare can be such a relief both for the MK and his/her parents, as trust and relationships are developed. In our case this year, we had a broad gap in age between our youngest at home (1st grade) and our oldest at home (12th grade.) There were so many great activities for our teenagers and even more related to our son's senior year, but many of these were not ideal settings for a 7-year old. Friends with children his age who welcomed Silas time and again were a huge blessing to us and to him!

6. Engaging Teen MKs Relationally/Spiritually

A common pitfall for children raised in ministry is an unspoken assumption by others that they somehow have automatic spiritual maturity because of their life circumstances. Truth be told, their life circumstances may sometimes hold them back from asking genuine questions. It's not an easy task in a short span of time, but youth leaders and other Christian adults who show sincere interest, investing time and asking thoughtful questions can play a significant role in the spiritual development of teen MKs. A blessing of technology is the potential to continue that relationship even long distance.

7. Hospitality/Connecting

One of the best ways for a missionary family to reengage with their sending church is to connect with members on a personal basis. Whether getting reacquainted with "old" members or identifying new faces, casual greetings or even extended conversations after church aren't quite sufficient. One suggestion we'd offer is that sending churches might help coordinate personal connections on the front end of furlough to help with getting to know people better sooner. Personally we regret each furlough not having been able to practice as much hospitality in our own home as we'd like. In part this is due to so many weekends of travel and the time it takes to "warm up" to life in a new place. We are learning to be creative. This furlough we enjoyed some visitors for breakfast mid-week while our children were in school. Our senior pastor invited Pedro to walk together on Mondays after school drop-off. Our associate pastor and wife joined us for a virtual conference over several weeks. Several families invited us to meals in their homes. We are so thankful for all of these connections! 

8. Multiple Opportunities to Share & Pray

Something we appreciated this furlough was the opportunity to share the ministry in Chile not just once but several times in different contexts at our home church. These included combined youth/adult Sunday School; children's church; and Pedro's speaking in a Sunday morning service. It is very special to feel known not just as one of many prayer cards on the wall but to sense that from big to small, church members understand and care about the ministry in Iquique. Even more so, we deeply appreciated the dedicated prayer times for our family and ministry. Our final time of sharing with the church in Sunday School was thoughtfully divided into 15 minutes of presentation; 15 minutes of interview/Q&A; and 15 minutes of breaking up into small groups to pray. What a beautiful encouragement this was to us!

9. Planning a Visit to the Field

It was thrilling for us in 2019 to welcome a team from our home church for a week of ministry in Iquique. There is nothing quite like introducing your mission field in person to those who have sent you and who've supported and prayed for years! Whether a full team or a pastor or family representing the church, these field visits are such a blessing. Furlough is a great opportunity to discuss and plan for future visits and partnership opportunities.

10. Debriefing/Counseling Options

Four or more years on the field is a lot to process upon returning. Often traumatic or violent events occur overseas that might not be common in our home culture. Our missions agency has a built-in debriefing interview which is very helpful to begin outlining all that has taken place, but sometimes a one-time sit-down is not sufficient. We have observed that more options (even week-long, in-depth counseling retreats for adult missionaries and MKs) are becoming available but often they are not accessible either due to distance or cost. Similarly, there are re-entry retreats available to MKs returning to their passport countries for college that are excellent but impossible to attend due to the difficulty of coordinating transportation or finances.

While this is not something we specifically discussed with our sending church this furlough, it is an idea we wanted to add to this list because making debriefing or counseling options available to their missionaries if needed is a very tangible way to help and to encourage spiritual/emotional health and longevity on the mission field. This could look like a love gift to cover the cost of a debriefing retreat, or a list of trusted Christian counselors in the area to assist the family. The latter because sometimes in the course of a term overseas, needs are identified within the missionary family that are difficult to address because counseling resources are not available in their country of service. 

In our experience, no two furloughs are alike. However, each can be a learning experience. Because our first two furloughs did not allow us as much time with our home church, this year we tried to be intentional in engaging where we could. We were often away speaking on Sundays, so Pedro joined AWANA as a T&T leader mid-week. I (Stephanie) could not commit because of frequent out-of-state travels to help my parents, but I tried to look for opportunities such as ladies' Bible study, substituting in childcare and attending celebrations where I could interact with others. We sought to not be in a rush to leave after services and to invest in personal conversations. 

We are also very thankful for the perspective our home church has demonstrated each furlough. We have been warmly welcomed and thoughtfully embraced for the duration we can be with them. But we have been given the freedom to plan our time stateside according to our family's needs. Last furlough, that meant living in another state completely. We want to express gratitude to our pastors who in the midst of their own heavy loads of ministry, strive to stay sensitive and engaged with their missionaries as well.