Toggling Thoughts of Today

I have been sitting at my laptop for some time, toggling between multiple screens.

On one, I keep open a WORD document containing the annual report requested by a supporting church. I am answering this question: Please share with us what a day in your life as a missionary in your field consists of. (Examples: a general schedule/devotions/discipleship/evangelism/relationships/church life, etc.)

On another, I am reading and responding to WhatsApp messages, most importantly from my sisters. We are connected by mutual concern, two of us currently in Chile and one stateside with our parents at this time.

A third tab is opened to a college son's email account (with his knowledge) as the hours tick by on this last day of possible notification about a college scholarship.

Yet a fourth tab I open and close, wanting/not wanting to see the words I wrote on Facebook and any responses to them: My parents raised three daughters on the mission field, and released three daughters back to that same field. The past three years, we have sought to stagger our "furloughs" (stateside reporting ministry) to provide more presence with our parents Jim and Gail A. Christian during a time when our dad's health has been failing due to Parkinson's. First Jennifer was there during what we now know was his last year of independent living; then I had the privilege of being present to assist with his transition to Healthcare. Finally, Terri recently returned to the US and was there when Dad was evaluated today for hospice care due to increasing declines in his health. We certainly appreciate prayer during this new season for our family. ❤ (photo dated 2016)

Meanwhile a calendar and stack of notebooks beckon for my attention. Multiple lists with unchecked boxes nudge my elbow as I type. In the past two hours, I've rejoiced that our college daughter arrived safely after 5+ hours of solo driving to be with her grandfather briefly this weekend. I've reached out to a possible accountant to help FLORECE with annual budgeting and reports the Chilean government requires. I've exchanged messages with a fumigation service; opened the door to receive the delivery of six 20-liter water bottles (indispensable when you live in the desert); typed up financial numbers for a hopeful ministry expansion project; and confirmed that a dear colleague is returning as scheduled on Sunday. I've been grateful for the cooling hum of a fan in our quiet house and for my husband taking two sons out for an hour of refreshment and play at the nearby ocean, while another son busses to and from his tri-weekly boxing class.

Today, that's what a fraction of a day in my life looks like. It's not that I've accomplished much. Most of those messages have just set in motion or moved along what will take many more points of contact to complete. Always, I feel at loose ends. So much TO do; so much NOT done. My heart divided: in Iowa, Virginia, Florida, Pennsylvania, and here in Iquique. Especially, now, in PA with my parents.

Hebrews 4:14-16 says, "Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Lately I have reflected on Jesus leaving His home in Heaven, coming to be human born and spend thirty-three years on earth separated from His Father. Then to live among and love His human family and cherished friends (disciples) only to be excruciatingly separated from them as well. How did He minister with an undivided heart and focus in this world? He is able to "sympathize with our weaknesses." Yet He never sinned as I do (praise God for His perfection!) How grateful I am for God's throne of mercy and grace and help in my time of need.