Faithful Thoughts, Family Talks

I want to remember today.

It wasn't a special day other than it was a Sunday in quarantine, and to me those have always been special. Unlike dozens of previous Sundays enjoying online English services, however, this was our second Sunday coordinating and broadcasting a simple Spanish service for the Iglesia Bautista Fe church plant via Zoom.

Our three older boys were pulled out of quarantine retirement less than a month ago when Iquique celebrated its long-awaited transition to Phase 3 of Covid regulations, freeing weekends for the first time in nine months. This freedom did not last long, allowing us only two weeks of outdoor, in-person church services (of 25 people or less) before our city was propelled backwards into Phase 1 of a renewed full lockdown. It served the good purpose, however, of Owen and Ian and Alec dusting off their guitars and being recalled into "music ministry."

They are smiling in this picture because I asked them to smile, not because they are naturally enthusiastic at the opportunity. Still, they practice and play and I hope they are beginning to understand that doing so out of an obedient heart to their parents' request is pleasing to God. Even more so, I hope they will one day play out of an overflowing and increasing desire simply to worship their Savior.

So much has been strange and difficult this past year. We have had struggles and failures, moments of sadness and of sweetness, of discipline and delight, of laughter and of longing for some some semblance of "normalcy to return." Preparing these several songs, singing along with my sons, returning to a routine of worship with our small group of believers even on a computer screen is a blessing.

After church, the now seven members of our family at home gathered in our school/church/dining/everything room to enjoy a delivery meal from our favorite Chinese restaurant. I turned the conversation to today's message from our Venezuelan brother Anthony on Philippians 4:8-9. His opening point had been the tactic of our enemy to go after our thoughts, just as the serpent tempted Eva in the Garden of Eden. One illustration he used seemed to click with our kids. It was the quote that says, "You cannot keep birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair." Interestingly, the evening before we had watched a church service from Grace Baptist Church of Lancaster and Pastor Greg had also referred to our thoughts forming who we are.

We discussed specific example of what this might look like, such as becoming frustrated with someone but not choosing to dwell on all of their negative qualities. Or being offered drugs, but not sticking around to give it a try. We compared it to having an impure thought intrude while on the computer, but not giving in to the temptation to do a search for something we know is wrong.

Sometimes our kids cringe when we try to initiate these conversations, but today it flowed pretty smoothly and it was encouraging to our hearts as parents. We addressed one sad but important topic related to someone choosing to indeed allow a negative "nest" to be built in their life. This was the announcement made public today of the breakup of a married couple we know, whose children had been friends and neighbors with ours when they were younger. Though we were aware of this situation for awhile, we did not feel it was our place to speak of it until today's Facebook announcement "celebrating" a new relationship which had broken up two marriages and left two sets of children without intact parents.

"What do you think the comments on the announcement were like?" we asked. Our kids correctly guessed that the responses had been positive and affirming of the happiness the world's wisdom says the new couple deserves, ignoring the sin and broken vows and fractured families leading to this point. They were sobered at the thought of their friends facing the reality of both their mom and dad with other people and the effect this statistically might have on their peers' own marriage relationships someday.

Random tangents are often characteristic of our family conversations, and this particular discussion spun off into whether Mom and Dad had ever had any big fights. Because we want our children to understand that marriage is made up of two sinners learning to live together and love one another, we shared a new story with them. (They already know the one about Mommy running away from Daddy for an afternoon early in our marriage before kids.) Though I am not proud of it but appreciating the shock value it would have for my kids, I shared how once in a heated disagreement I used a swear word against Dad. To his credit, Dad confessed that he had been in the wrong in this instance - which happened to include our children when they were much younger, although they had no recollection since we had argued behind closed doors. We both acknowledged behaving incorrectly in our own way.

Needless to say, there were some gasps and laughter from our sons and daughter but hopefully they caught the main idea that we are all people in process who need our Savior and His Word every day. I am writing down these memories because I want to remember that sometimes we succeeded as a family in discussing with honesty and camaraderie the very important messages God has given us for this life. There is no one else I would rather share my space and time with on this terrestrial globe than the precious people He has allowed me to call my own!