Lately, even before his hospitalization, Owen has taken to spontaneously telling members of the family that he loves them. I absolutely LOVE that! I love hearing him say, “Eva, I love you!” and running over to give her a hug even when she tries to act grumpy as if she doesn’t want him to … I love when he says, “Mommy, I need to hold you!” and wants me to pick him up and snuggle. And even though I want him to go to pre-school and enjoy it on the mornings he goes, there is a part of me that is happy to hear him say, “I want to stay home with Mommy!” These are such sweet days.
Recently I’ve begun to wonder how and when this lovey/snuggly phase of life ended with our girls. Now they are 1st and 2nd graders with friends and horizons beyond just Mommy and Daddy and our family. Now we have to ask for hugs and kisses and snuggles instead of having them offered to us often and freely (although thankfully, the girls are usually happy to oblige.) Now we have to push them to do homework and reading instead of just enjoying our evenings together. Now we have to deal with a lot more attitude issues rather than just simple misbehaviors.
I am burdened to know how to truly connect with my children. I struggle with knowing how to deal with their heart issues of selfishness and unkindness and unrepentance, understanding full well that these are issues that even I as an adult continue to struggle with in my own heart. I wonder how to foster love and friendship and loyalty between siblings, having naively assumed it would somehow come naturally to them. I worry that I don’t do enough to applaud their good behaviors and that I focus too much on the negatives.
I have been trying to observe the ways in which the girls especially feel loved. Their “love languages” are very different. They are very different! And with school in full swing, it seems like our time together is short - after school and before bedtime, with homework in between … which is when I think, I miss the sweet days.
1 comment:
Those cuddly days are sweet to treasure. It is fun trying to figure out the kid's love languages. My eldest son's definitely are words of encouragement and physical touch. I'm still trying to figure out my 6 yr old. I think her's is mainly quality time with gifts/notes being an extra. Her's has been the hardest for me to meet 'cause it takes time to have quality time...where as with Joshua I can just give him lots of hugs and 'high fives' and he's happy!
We've been dealing with a lot of attitudes too. I feel like our kids are really super, and they don't have big issues that they are dealing with, but lately it seems that we've had to address some issues that could get big if not dealt with firmly. It is hard to know how to reach their hearts. To pray and ask the Holy Spirit to convict their hearts so that we are not condemning them and crushing their hearts. Today I totally blew up after being pushed to the point of frustration. My kids know that I have weaknesses and am human. I was able to use that moment to ask forgiveness and really communicate. Creating those bonding moments with the family is difficult with all the things that distract us: TV, computer, busy activities, etc. They all fight for our attention. It takes a lot of determination to preserve what we love most: family.
Post a Comment