Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Thoughts about Adoption Update, Part Two

Their emotions swirl around me. Sadness, frustration, hope, hopelessness, anxiety, desperation …

Who can blame them?

This is their one chance, and their future is in the hands of a string of professionals they have never met, who don’t know the slightest thing about them or their hopes or disappointments or dreams.

They can’t do an internet search, come up with two dozen different agencies and take their time to analyze and choose one.

They can’t apply for a grant.

They can’t be told that the timeframe is just 6-12 months, or be assured of a healthy newborn baby.

They don’t have choices. This is it, and throughout the three days of orientation and training they are told time and again not to get their hopes up, that the process is long and hard and that many of them will not make it through the rigorous psychological and social assessments.

Which in essence, is telling them they may never fulfill their dream of being parents.

Which for most of them, is adding salt to the already open wound of their infertility.

I suppose that in some ways honesty is the best policy, bleak as it may seem. For my part, I am not discouraged yet – but that is because I have three beautiful children at home and the option of pursuing another route someday, with God’s help. For them, I am discouraged – and as I listen, I wish for a ray of hope to soften the edges of this new reality …

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