Trusting in Times of Goodbye

With another child's departure near, it doesn't take much for the tears to flow. 

This morning, it was the simple matter of Isabel going to the grocery store with Pedro. Her official assignment as his shopping companion was being on "Silas duty" (since at a year-plus into pandemic we are one of those boat rocking families that actually takes our young child into the grocery store - with everyone duly masked, temp checked and sanitized, of course!) But the emotion that caught me off guard was realizing it was one of the few final times that this act of our daughter accompanying her dad to the store would take place.

Albeit, it's not such a "simple act" at all in Step 1 of  Year 2 of lockdown. First, both Pedro and Isabel pulled out their phones to go online and visit Chile's "Virtual Police Station" in search of the "Temporary Individual Permission" button. Then they each input their "Unique Password" previously obtained from Chile's Civil Registry Office. This allowed them to register their full name; Chilean identity card number; age; home address including street number, city and region in Chile; and specify where they were going at what time. After accepting the warning that false information on this form would carry criminal penalties, they submitted their forms and received approval beginning fifteen minutes after the listed time and lasting for two hours. Officially, they each have one more such permission available this week.

I have always been thankful for the special relationship Isabel and Pedro share. 

We sometimes reminisce and chuckle that as a very little baby, she had an irritable hour every evening when she would accept a bottle and the company only of Mommy while Daddy suffered her wrathful rebuff. But that soon passed and while she and Mommy survived power struggles many times through her toddlerhood and adolescence, Daddy always knew how to calm Isabel down and exert the patience she desperately needed. Even now in these final weeks, he is the one graciously rising early to humor her requests for driving practice and the one from whom she is requesting a week's worth of favorite meals (or at the very least, his chicken fettuccini alfredo!) I treasure all these moments of the two of them together, knowing we are yet again on a countdown to goodbye.

This already difficult goodbye is compounded by the state of the nation with ever new restrictions to travel. 

Like last year with Eva's departure, we are on lockdown and borders are officially closed with less flights from which to choose. However, this year there are additional requirements that increase already-high levels of stress when trying to travel. There is the required negative PCR test before travel, which in our case requires an overnight stay in Santiago (running to the clinic for the test directly from the airport after a national flight and then departing on an international flight late the following night) because there is no lab in Iquique that promises a quick turnaround. There is the online C-19 form confirming no symptoms or contact with positive persons. There is the required police permission to leave a quarantined region. 

Finally and most foreboding is the new "Extraordinary Request" permission to leave the country of Chile. It states that only for motives that are characterized as "urgent, humanitarian, essential for health, indispensable arrangements for the adequate functioning of the country, or to reside (implied: permanently) abroad" can Chileans or foreign residents request permission to leave the country. Obviously, this permission can be approved or denied. Since requests must be submitted a minimum of 72 hours before travel but are sorted in terms of those leaving soonest, we are not even sure when to make our plea. It is nerve wracking to have tickets purchased and be weeks from Isabel's planned departure without knowing whether our careful plans will be successful. Additionally uncertain is the outcome of brother Owen's role as her travel companion.

Last year, Isabel created a Father's Day video for Pedro. 

The song accompanying sweet family photos was new to us and entitled "Through the Eyes of My Father." The chorus included these words: "I see God in my father's eyes ... A father's like the Father in the way he loves you ... A father's like the Father when he carries you through ..." Today as I struggle to lay down the weight of worry and embrace the bittersweet hope and pride of what the future holds for our second daughter, these words are a reminder to me. Just as Isabel's earthly father has loved her well, so does her Heavenly Father love her (and even more!) and will provide perfectly for her. We can rest in His care!