I have titled my post as such in hopes that it might attract attention from some been-there, done-that parents of adopted children. The purpose of this post is two-fold: to request information for me, and for a friend. Any appropriate insights and advice will be much appreciated!
Me: I would like to have the option of "wearing" or carrying my boys when they come home. I don't know how often I will do this because from what I read, much of it depends on their individual temperaments and bonding needs. Either way, I would like to have the option but the only baby carrier I've ever used is a Snugli and it wasn't the most comfortable for me. I need to have my hands free and I want it to feel as natural as possible, so I am thinking along the lines of a sling that allows a toddler to "sit" on my hip more or less. I should, however, point out that I am not the most coordinated person in the world and need this baby carrier to be very user-friendly! (I know, I'm not asking much, am I?) At any rate, if you could offer me some pointers - remembering that my boys will be toddlers, not infants - I will thank you from the bottom of my heart. :)
My friend: My very dear friend adopted siblings from Russia at ages 2 (daughter) and 3 (son) years old. They are now 7 (daughter) and 8 (son) years old. They are struggling with their daughter, who frequently lashes out in anger and expresses that she thinks her life would be better back in Russia, etc. etc. I offered to mention this on here in hopes that someone with experience and insight regarding this issue would be willing to communicate with my friend via e-mail. If so, please leave me a comment with your e-mail (I will not post the comment if you prefer to keep your e-mail private.) Thank you in advance for your encouragement and help in this way!
Me: I would like to have the option of "wearing" or carrying my boys when they come home. I don't know how often I will do this because from what I read, much of it depends on their individual temperaments and bonding needs. Either way, I would like to have the option but the only baby carrier I've ever used is a Snugli and it wasn't the most comfortable for me. I need to have my hands free and I want it to feel as natural as possible, so I am thinking along the lines of a sling that allows a toddler to "sit" on my hip more or less. I should, however, point out that I am not the most coordinated person in the world and need this baby carrier to be very user-friendly! (I know, I'm not asking much, am I?) At any rate, if you could offer me some pointers - remembering that my boys will be toddlers, not infants - I will thank you from the bottom of my heart. :)
My friend: My very dear friend adopted siblings from Russia at ages 2 (daughter) and 3 (son) years old. They are now 7 (daughter) and 8 (son) years old. They are struggling with their daughter, who frequently lashes out in anger and expresses that she thinks her life would be better back in Russia, etc. etc. I offered to mention this on here in hopes that someone with experience and insight regarding this issue would be willing to communicate with my friend via e-mail. If so, please leave me a comment with your e-mail (I will not post the comment if you prefer to keep your e-mail private.) Thank you in advance for your encouragement and help in this way!
5 comments:
I don't have any advice for either of your topics, BUT do you remember Stellan's mom? MckMama? She wears her babies ALL the time and is very vocal about which one she likes, doesn't like and may be able to help you with that. If you e-mail her, I'm sure she would get back to you. All I can say is that I hope you get to snuggle your boys in them VERY soon!
Steph, here's some info on a baby carrier designed for older children that I found interesting, as I, too, have been thinking about this. Let me know what you think! It's fairly new on the market... http://www.sleepywrap.com/index.php?page=boba
For you, don't bother with a sling! It will not be comfortable for any length of time. Two great options are the Ergo and the Chunei (just google 'em) Comfortable, secure, etc. I've not tried the Chunei, only the Ergo. I LOVE my ergo and carried Ellie in it until she was over 30lbs. A few folk who have been dissastisfied w/ the ergo have positively RAVED about the Chunei. I've just never needed to give it a try. Both carriers can be used on the front or the back. Ergo says it can also be worn on the side, but I've never used it on the side.
The Sleepy wrap I wouldn't use on a kid past 1 (just my opinion) as it would be too claustrophobic for one who wants to be able to wiggle and move. The ergo and the Chunei will offer YOU a lot more support for pain-free wear.
For your friend, the only advice I can give is the following: the book Beyond Logic, Consequences, and Control: A love based approach for helping children with severe attachment behaviors. This book is AWESOME and has helped many many families, mine included. Secondly, if they seek out help, go straight to an adoption attachment therapist... do not waste time or money with someone who is a general family couselor or trained in anger management. The roots are so very different and it will be a waste of time and money.
Praying they find the advice and help they need.
For you, I would absolutely recommend a Scootababy. This is a dedicated hip carrier, although you can use it for a front or back carry if you want to. I would recommend this over the Ergo (which I also love), because you say you are not very coordinated, and you would probably therefore prefer to begin with hip carries rather than back carries. (Your toddler may not be in a true front carry.) An Ergo can do a hip carry, but it's rather awkward in my opinion. Ergo shines in front and back carries; Scootababy shines in the hip carry. It's easy to use.
I would not get the Boba, as it is new on the market and thus fairly untested, plus a lot of people are thinking the stirrups will be like lauching pads for the kids. ;-)
I super love my chunei, BUT it is really fiddly ... there is a "sweet" spot, and I would think it could be quite frustrating for a beginner.
I have a friend who has tried out almost every type of baby carrier there is, and is passionate about baby wearing for as long as it's possible. A little while ago she did a blogpost about baby wearing explaining all the different types available. She also linked to a few sights that have that have patterns for sewing them. I have been thinking about trying to make some for our coming baby.I know you don't sew but it's a whole lot cheaper than buying them... you could maybe get one made. here's the blog address. Hope this is helpful. www.keithandstacey.blogspot.com
on the side under baby wearing info she has a link to her blogpost babywearing 101
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