Recently, Owen and I had a brief but humorous talk about adoption.
I was grateful, because as I recently shared with Pedro, I feel like we were careful to bring the topic up with the girls when they were young so that it would be something they grew up feeling comfortable discussing (and we still do - recently we read "This Is How We Became a Family" again for a bedtime story and that gave Eva and Isabel a chance to ask questions and for us to interact on the subject of their adoptions.) However, with Owen we've not been so proactive and even though to outsiders his adoption is quite obvious due to our being a transracial family ... we have to remember that to him as a pre-schooler race is not truly on his radar yet, and thus does not play a role in his understanding adoption at this stage.
So our talk took place at naptime, when Owen was all too willing to discuss anything and everything except going to sleep. :) He and I were laying on the bed when he poked my tummy and asked in his being-silly voice, "Baby in there?" I responded, "No, Mommy doesn't have a baby in her tummy!" We repeated this discussion one or two more times before he said, "But I was in there, when I was a baby, yesterday!"
This didn't catch me too off-guard, as I've often wondered if he is confused on this point. I simply said, "No, you weren't in Mommy's tummy because Mommy's tummy is broken for having babies. But you were in your birthmother's tummy." Owen's response was classic Owen - just a grin and the assertive announcement, "I knew that!" as if I was merely stating the obvious. Of course, I couldn't help adding the statement, "But you were born in Mommy's heart! Because I love you," to which I'm pretty sure he answered, "And you're in my heart too!" while being very goofy.
There's a good reason why I love this boy! :)
I was grateful, because as I recently shared with Pedro, I feel like we were careful to bring the topic up with the girls when they were young so that it would be something they grew up feeling comfortable discussing (and we still do - recently we read "This Is How We Became a Family" again for a bedtime story and that gave Eva and Isabel a chance to ask questions and for us to interact on the subject of their adoptions.) However, with Owen we've not been so proactive and even though to outsiders his adoption is quite obvious due to our being a transracial family ... we have to remember that to him as a pre-schooler race is not truly on his radar yet, and thus does not play a role in his understanding adoption at this stage.
So our talk took place at naptime, when Owen was all too willing to discuss anything and everything except going to sleep. :) He and I were laying on the bed when he poked my tummy and asked in his being-silly voice, "Baby in there?" I responded, "No, Mommy doesn't have a baby in her tummy!" We repeated this discussion one or two more times before he said, "But I was in there, when I was a baby, yesterday!"
This didn't catch me too off-guard, as I've often wondered if he is confused on this point. I simply said, "No, you weren't in Mommy's tummy because Mommy's tummy is broken for having babies. But you were in your birthmother's tummy." Owen's response was classic Owen - just a grin and the assertive announcement, "I knew that!" as if I was merely stating the obvious. Of course, I couldn't help adding the statement, "But you were born in Mommy's heart! Because I love you," to which I'm pretty sure he answered, "And you're in my heart too!" while being very goofy.
There's a good reason why I love this boy! :)
1 comment:
I love you! I love your children! :-D <3
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