Becoming Your Child's Advocate

Advocate (n.)

1. One that argues for a cause; a supporter or defender

2. One that pleads in another's behalf; an intercessor

I have a child with special needs.

The early months of her life were busy with many visits to specialists – neurologists, pediatric ophthalmologists, pediatric audiologists, etc. By six months of age she had received a clean bill of health from each of them; but by nineteen months, she was just learning to walk and struggling greatly with her gait and balance. It was around this time when a nurse friend suggested that our daughter might have cerebral palsy.

When I presented the possibility to her pediatrician, he was very cautious. Unwilling to have her labeled at such a young age, he preferred to adopt a “wait and see” attitude rather than provide a referral for further evaluation. But my mother instincts insisted that this was something we needed to investigate right away. Later I realized that I was just starting to learn the importance of being an advocate for my child.

There were few choices for pediatric neurologists nearby within our health plan, and the first one we visited was a disaster. The waiting room was small, cheerless and covered with advertisements for ADD and ADHD medications. Signs that urged children and parents alike to be tested “today” so that they, too, could begin a life on these drugs. And when the first recommendation the doctor gave us was to put our toddler on permanent medication for drooling, we quickly declined. It was all too apparent that this particular doctor cared more about his kick-backs from the drug companies than the personal needs of his patients!

Some internet research led me to respected neurologist outside our health network and about an hour away. Despite these drawbacks we chose to take our daughter to him for an MRI, the results of which were compatible with her traumatic birth history and indeed pointed to a cerebral palsy diagnosis. This neurologist pointed us in the right direction for the doctors and services that would benefit our daughter immediately and in the future. It was a lesson learned: there is no better advocate for a child than the people who know and love her best!

In the years to come, I would see this lesson repeated as I learned to go with my gut instinct when meeting new doctors and specialists. If one wasn’t a good fit my daughter, I needed to be willing to move on and find another who was. If an invasive procedure was suggested, I needed to do my own research before naively accepting a doctor’s advice. It hasn’t always been easy for me, as conflict makes me uncomfortable and I was quick to believe that the professionals always knew best. But it is a truth tested, that being an advocate is one of the most important facets of my role as a mother in relation to each of my children.

As I write this, I am reminded of one of the great blessings of being a child of God, saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ and His work on the cross. I, too, am in need of an advocate – someone who will plead in my behalf before a holy God. And yet the Bible has promised believers exactly that! Jesus Christ himself intercedes for me to the Father (1 John 2:1.) Blessed be His name!