Grief hits at unexpected times.
This thought came to my mind often over the course of the past few days. Truly, the issue of the sanctity of life is one that touches me deeply when I allow myself to dwell upon it. The reason, I believe, is that our family's story is interwoven with this reality. Without the sanctity of life, our family simply would not exist.
During the conference on Saturday, Evelyn addressed the "difficult issues" that often cloud the subject of abortion even in the minds of some believers. What I mean by this is that there are many Christians who say they do not believe in abortion "except" ... (1) when the mother's life is endangered or (2) the child is conceived through abuse or (3) the child will not have a good quality of life or (4) the family is so impoverished that it would be "better" for the child not be born into that situation.
There is so much that could be said about each of these (and she did a tremendous job of addressing each one) but the bottom line for me is: God is God and I am not. I can stand on the moral, absolute truth of the sanctity of every human life and trust the Creator of life with the outcomes of each of those situations without taking matters into my own hands.
But on a far more personal level, I look at my children and realize that almost every single one could fall into one of those "difficult" categories. My child who doctors said would be a vegetable if she survived; my child who at 4 months old weighed less than many newborns due to malnutrition; my child born to a teenage mother in abject poverty.
That is when grief hit me. Grief that my precious, beautiful children could ever have been considered better off dead than born. Grief for the millions of precious, beautiful children whose mothers did not choose life as my children's did. Grief for this world that has become so warped and flawed that even believers can be fooled into embracing a culture of death rather than life.
In Deuteronomy 30:19 we read: "This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live." If only we would be faithful to do so!
The second time grief hit me was when Evelyn described the marvelous miracle of human development at every stage of pregnancy. She held up intricate fetal models of exactly the size and scale at these various stages. At five weeks old, a baby's heart is already beating and blood is pumping through the four chambers of his or her tiny heart. Lungs and brain have begun to develop, and gender is already determined. So amazing! But seeing that tiny form and understanding the miracle that it represented brought a fresh wave of sadness in remembering the child we lost to miscarriage.
As strange as it sounds, I welcome the grief. The moment I stop feeling the overwhelming sadness and horror that the loss of human life brings, is the moment when I must cry out to God to break my heart once again.
How about you ... is your heart broken today?
This thought came to my mind often over the course of the past few days. Truly, the issue of the sanctity of life is one that touches me deeply when I allow myself to dwell upon it. The reason, I believe, is that our family's story is interwoven with this reality. Without the sanctity of life, our family simply would not exist.
During the conference on Saturday, Evelyn addressed the "difficult issues" that often cloud the subject of abortion even in the minds of some believers. What I mean by this is that there are many Christians who say they do not believe in abortion "except" ... (1) when the mother's life is endangered or (2) the child is conceived through abuse or (3) the child will not have a good quality of life or (4) the family is so impoverished that it would be "better" for the child not be born into that situation.
There is so much that could be said about each of these (and she did a tremendous job of addressing each one) but the bottom line for me is: God is God and I am not. I can stand on the moral, absolute truth of the sanctity of every human life and trust the Creator of life with the outcomes of each of those situations without taking matters into my own hands.
But on a far more personal level, I look at my children and realize that almost every single one could fall into one of those "difficult" categories. My child who doctors said would be a vegetable if she survived; my child who at 4 months old weighed less than many newborns due to malnutrition; my child born to a teenage mother in abject poverty.
That is when grief hit me. Grief that my precious, beautiful children could ever have been considered better off dead than born. Grief for the millions of precious, beautiful children whose mothers did not choose life as my children's did. Grief for this world that has become so warped and flawed that even believers can be fooled into embracing a culture of death rather than life.
In Deuteronomy 30:19 we read: "This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live." If only we would be faithful to do so!
The second time grief hit me was when Evelyn described the marvelous miracle of human development at every stage of pregnancy. She held up intricate fetal models of exactly the size and scale at these various stages. At five weeks old, a baby's heart is already beating and blood is pumping through the four chambers of his or her tiny heart. Lungs and brain have begun to develop, and gender is already determined. So amazing! But seeing that tiny form and understanding the miracle that it represented brought a fresh wave of sadness in remembering the child we lost to miscarriage.
As strange as it sounds, I welcome the grief. The moment I stop feeling the overwhelming sadness and horror that the loss of human life brings, is the moment when I must cry out to God to break my heart once again.
How about you ... is your heart broken today?
1 comment:
Mi Hija, you have written an excellent, persuavive, heartwarming and heartwrenching, inspiring essay. This is your best. This could be published in a folleto. So glad God has given you His creative gifts of writing and ideas and clarity of communication. God bless you as He uses you for His glory. Thanks for reminding us Christians of our gift of life. Love, Mom
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