I want to take a minute and talk about my husband. Not "talk" as in bashing, mind you! ... but "talk" as in saying how very special he is and how blessed I am to be married to him.
I recently read that "studies show that adoptive couples have lower divorce rates than other parents. Experts think they may develop stronger coping skills in the course of the infertility and adoption experience, which maybe makes those marriages stronger." I personally think having GOD in the middle of your marriage is the key ingredient! ... but the above has certainly been an important factor in our relationship as well.
Infertility places a unique strain on a marriage, because while both spouses share a common disappointment (not being able to have children) they each also have their own worries and doubts. For instance, I might think, "Is he sorry he married me? Does he wish he'd married someone who could give him children?" And he might think, "I am supposed to be the provider, the one who makes everything better. Yet I'm powerless to do anything to make the hurt and tears go away!"
And then there are the pressures of adoption. The paperwork. The finances. The intrusion into your personal history and home life. Being forced to rely on a stranger to assess whether you will make a good parent or not. The waiting, wondering, and worrying. The rise of hopes, and the crash of disappointment. I have to make this clear - the end result is totally worth it! ... But, the pressure on one's marriage is still there.
Through it all, my husband has been my encourager, my confidante, my shoulder to cry on, my sharer of dreams, my voice of reason ... my best friend. It hasn't always been easy. We're on our fourth adoption, and it still isn't easy! We don't always see eye to eye in certain situations. But we work together, we pray together, we hold onto hope together ... we disagree, we talk it out, we forgive ... and together we face the future with all of its unknowns, with faith in our Lord and faith in one another.
Thank you, Pedro ... for everything.
1 comment:
you know, lately the enemy has been attacking us in our relationship with each other. It took another godly couple who are our friends to point out that it wasnt' one anoter but the enemy using small things to erode the foundation of our marrage. Without God, I just don't know how other do it. I just don't.
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