Halfway through our 12-hour drive from Pennsylvania home to Michigan yesterday, we stopped for lunch at a Cracker Barrel. Our waitress was Lisa. After welcoming us, one of her first questions was whether we had adopted our son (we are a transracial family, so it's pretty obvious!) and our two girls. My first instinct was to be taken aback by her questions, until she quickly added: "I gave my daughter years ago to a couple who couldn't have kids. I was really young, and it was the best thing, right?"
Her admission was so unexpected that I was almost at a loss for words! I asked her how old her daughter is now, and she said fifteen. I asked if she keeps in touch, and Lisa said: "Well, no, I mean, only if she needs something sometime, you know?" From which I gathered that hers is a closed adoption ... but here Lisa is fifteen years later, and her birthdaughter was the first thing on her mind when she saw our family.
I wished I could say more to Lisa, to affirm what a difficult yet loving decision she made all those years ago. The opportunity didn't present itself, so instead I left a note on a card along with our family website. I thought she might enjoy reading our children's adoption stories online, and I hoped that she might be encouraged to believe that her daughter, too, is blessed and happy with her family because of Lisa's selfless choice. I also left a tract especially written for women, sharing God's special love and design for our lives and how He has provided a way of salvation through His Son Jesus Christ.
Both Pedro and I were touched by the encounter. It was humbling to us as parents who have blessed by adoption, and bittersweet to realize that just as a day does not go by when Lisa's daughter doesn't come to her mind, so it must be with our children's birthparents. There is a new name on my prayer list after yesterday ... a special birthmom named Lisa.
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